Wednesday, Oct. 07, 2009

Can TV make him eat his leafy greens?

A desperate father challenges Food Network's celebrity chefs to create vegetable-heavy recipes for his picky 5-year-old

Can television chefs make my 5-year-old a better eater?

Having spent too many meals watching my son skirt around the veggies on his plate — or during more pouty dinners simply shove them off — I wanted to see if the celebrity chefs from the Food Network could persuade him to embrace produce beyond fruit.

After all, when it comes to kids, the network knows its stuff. The Food Network doesn’t talk numbers, but children make up a considerable chunk of its viewers. Could that make folks like Alton Brown and Rachael Ray experts at something that stymies most parents?

I called the network and laid it out. I’d give them a profile of my son’s eating habits; they’d round up the celebrity chefs who would come up with vegetable-based recipes catered to his (sometimes frustrating) tastes. He’d try them all and declare a winner.

THE KID

I shouldn’t complain about him too much. Parker scarfs eel and shrimp tempura sushi, devours Mexican mole and Ethiopian doro wat, and doesn’t know there is such a thing as white bread. He’s never been to McDonald’s and couldn’t pick Cocoa Puffs out of a lineup.

Yet I can’t get him to eat veggies. Mashed potatoes are fine, but that’s the low-hanging fruit of the produce world.

As with so many kids, it hasn’t always been this way. From 6 months to 2 years, he ate everything. His favorite greens were palak paneer, a sort of curried spinach. Today, it’s “That’s disgusting!” if something green is even in his presence, never mind on his plate.

Supposedly, this is normal. Supposedly, his tastes — especially if he’s been exposed to a broad range of foods early on — will expand.

I decided not to take chances. And while the experiment isn’t scientific, my son’s immunity to the celebrity factor (we don’t have television, so he doesn’t know what the Food Network is, never mind who its stars are) means he’ll only eat something if he really likes it.

THE RULES

Sorry Jessica Seinfeld, no hidden vegetables allowed in this game. While sometimes there is cause to force kids (by trickery or brute strength) to eat good foods, it doesn’t teach them to make, enjoy or desire good choices.

If kids only eat lima beans because they don’t know they’ve been ground up and mashed into a brownie, where’s the progress?

The only other rule was that Parker had to take at least one bite of every dish. No matter what.

THE RECIPES AND CELEBRITIES

Brown, host of “The Next Iron Chef,” took the easy road and offered parsnip muffins. I almost disqualified him because the veggies are tucked inside a baked good. I let it slide because it didn’t feel as devious as putting puree in a brownie.

The recipe also was jammed with 2 cups of parsnips and, based on the recipe name alone, there’s no mistaking what you’re eating.

Parker eyed the sliced almonds on top of the muffin suspiciously, then plucked them off and piled them next to his plate. “Better than I thought it was going to be,” he said. “I’d take it for lunch tomorrow. Without the almonds.”

Ray of “30 Minute Meals” fame offered up a bechamel-soaked white lasagna baked in a cast-iron skillet. It also was heavy on green stuff — nearly 3 pounds of chopped spinach and chard. It was savory and cheesy and totally delicious.