Friday, Feb. 05, 2010

Staying Out of the Valentine’s Day Dog House 101

Valentine’s Day is next week and at this point there is still time to stay out of the doghouse by picking up something special for your significant other.

Trust me, guys who think Valentine’s Day is just another day to women are sadly mistaken — and you will pay for forgetting it.

I consider myself lucky to work in an office with mostly female employees, it gives me a little insight into a woman’s way of thinking — kind of like Mel Gibson’s character in the movie What Women Want.

Although I don’t think I could ever read a woman’s mind, there are certain things I have learned over the years about Valentine’s Day. I have never botched Valentine’s Day, but I have seen plenty of guys who have. Here are a few pitfalls and tips to avoid being in the doghouse — possibly for the rest of the year.

First, if you are laying around on the couch drinking a beer and watching a game on TV a week from Sunday, it’s too late. Buddy, you have already blown it. If you glance over at your significant other and wonder why she is standing there with her hands on her hips, she’s probably trying to figure out which kitchen tool or appliance she intends on using on you.

My advice is to plan well ahead. If you are the type to forget things easily, find someone to remind you, set the alarm on your cell phone or write yourself a note and put it in your wallet. Forgetting Valentine’s Day is a kiss of death.

If you give Valentine’s Day delectables, make sure you don’t buy anything that has “low calorie” on it. No matter your intentions, the message you send is lose some weight. My advice is to give the real thing and let them worry about the weight. It’s only one day and your Valentine deserves to splurge and know you will still love them.

Are you a serial dater? If you are and have to buy many gifts, you better keep a list of what you give. Nothing is worse than being out on the town with your “latest and greatest” and crossing paths with someone you recently dated wearing the exact same piece of jewelry you bought both of them. If this happens, you probably belong in the doghouse. My advice is to be original. Not everyone likes jewelry, candy or flowers. Try a gift no one else can give. If you are poetically inclined, write a poem, but don’t fake it by passing one off the Internet as yours. They will find out.

If you take the love of your life out for dinner, remember, going to Hooters is not considered “a night on the town,” unless you know your date likes Hooters or works there — in the latter case, the discount would be good. My advice: If you can afford it, go to a nice restaurant. Make sure you make reservations ahead of time. If you need reservations and don’t make them, it appears like you forgot and are just winging it. If your budget won’t allow something fancy, or you just want to be a little more romantic, nothing says more than taking them back to the spot of your first dinner together. This is my personal favorite. It sends the message “I would do it all again,” and “This is where we began.”

And, finally — flowers. First, not every person likes flowers. I heard one of my co-workers say flowers were a waste of money because they wilt and die. Well, that is one way to look at it, but you know your Valentine best. If your special someone likes flowers and works, my advice is to make sure you send them to their workplace. Why? Because everyone who gets flowers at work wants bragging rights, and you don’t want the love of your life getting the short end of the stem, so to speak. Getting flowers at work sends a signal to your Valentine’s co-workers that says “Look, my boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife loves me (more than yours loves you.)” Yes, flower envy — don’t leave your loved one standing in the office empty-handed. There may not be another Valentine’s Day for you.

No matter how you chose to celebrate, it is your day to show your significant other just how important he or she is in your life.

Remember the earlier advice I gave? “Find someone to remind you.” Well, I am reminding you. So if you end up in the doghouse, consider yourself as failing Staying Out of the Valentine’s Day Dog House 101.