Tips for a nightlife comeback

During one of the few occasions when my dad tackled the local bar scene, he opened a tab and returned to our table puzzled.

“They asked for my credit card,” he said with disbelief.

Clearly, some time had passed since my dad last partied.

So much, in fact, that he thought the threat of limb severing alone was still enough to make people pay for their drinks.

Think his disorientation is rare? You’re wrong.

The onset of spring means that in upcoming weeks, many partiers will re-enter the nightlife scene after extended hibernation.

Some are encouraged by warmer weather. Some have abandoned stifling relationships in the name of spring cleaning. Others have finally found a reliable babysitter.

Either way, they’re back. And often, a little confused.

This partier’s No. 1 characteristic is a naive belief that everyone cares about her long overdue “going out” party.

She’ll buy a new outfit, choreograph a dance to “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet” and greet the nightlife world with a shrill “I’m baaaack.”

Which will inevitably be met with this enthusiastic response:

“Gonna pay your $5 cover?”

For the clubber fresh out of hibernation, it marks a harsh reality. Life goes on without you, even in the world of booty shaking.

In your nightlife debut, awkwardness doesn’t stop at the cover charge.

You learn that a round of “the usual” now costs $35. And the jukebox that once welcomed your Beyonce obsession has been overtaken by a girl with a wallet of cash and a passion for Europop.

Perhaps your friendship dynamic has changed as well.

After an extended nightlife absence in the name of “date night,” you re-enter your circle of friends to learn you’ve surrendered your title of “the crazy one” to a girl who makes your dance floor antics look G-rated.

Scared? I understand. That’s why it’s important to only escape at-home hibernation when you’re truly ready.

That means weighing your likelihood of “I miss him so much” tears before hitting the town. Or curbing your chances of checking in with the nanny midway through a Ludacris tune.

Assuming you’re ready for the challenge, coming back to the nightlife scene isn’t that bad.

Yes, the initial setbacks can be disorienting. Conquer those challenges, however, and it won’t be long until you feel like you never left your fellow partiers at all.

That feeling alone can resurrect an amazing sense of nightlife empowerment.

But you still have to give the bartender your credit card, Dad.

Sonya Sorich, reporter, can be reached at ssorich@ledger-enquirer.com or 706-571-8516.