Pick of the day
Did you hear about the new Osama Bin Laden drink? Its two shots with a splash.
How can anyone have expected Michael Curry to testify in his own behalf when he couldnt make a single call to inquire about the status of the case for 25 years?
All of the American soldiers involved in the killing of Osama bin Laden should be getting the Medal of Honor as soon as possible.
Id like to thank the power company for the interruptions. I had nothing to do today, so Ill spend the rest of my day resetting everything in the house.
Where credit is due
Thank you, George W. Bush, for getting all the wheels in motion that led up to the death of Osama bin Laden.
Its our problem, too
Im sure the public works department will reimburse the Mayor for any of her demolished trash cans, but how about mine?
Whats next on gripe list?
Osama bin Laden killed, 250,000 new jobs in April, oil prices headed down, birth certificate revealed. Whats your new ploy, disgruntled Republicans?
Its not light reading
The Bible tells us what we need to know, not what wed like to know.
Didnt need a banner
Thank you, Mr. President, for a real mission accomplished. It wasnt counterfeit like the other one.
One minor detail:
There are numerous ads on TV urging customers to come see us, but they omit one critical bit of information their address.
Giving away our secrets
Terrorists wont be training on monkey bars anymore, now that weve provided how to train like a SEAL videos. Soon, theyll be better at killing us, but harder for us to find and kill.
Vice president precedent
Since bin Laden got shot in the face, his code name should have been Cheney.
Run that by us again
Feds: The illegal alien at Kennesaw State gets to finish school, and then we deport her. So hows she going to work for a year before applying to law school?
Bin Laden, rest in pieces.