If a house of God is involved in a police blotter, it's usually because someone broke into it.

Not so in our latest installment of the Crime Blog.

Please turn to Page No. 1 in your hymnals, where you'll see the story of a 21-year-old woman who lives at Lumpkin Park, 3351 N. Lumpkin Road. In this parable, you'll learn about how this woman is tormented by an upstairs resident known to make loud noises and stomp on the floor repeatedly. It's enough to make one unable to sleep.

Hey, I've been there. Apartment life is a crap shoot. But there's no gambling in churches, so ignore that poor analogy for now.

Moving on: Police respond to the scene and speak with the upstairs resident. This person tells officers that they just got home from church, but would make a point of keeping the noise down.

Hmm. OK, we'll buy that. Problem is, this is all happening at about 12:30 a.m. on Saturday.

I'm not sure what church that is, but if it can give me enough energy to stomp on the floors, sign me up.