Election roundup!

July 6, 2012 

Thinking about voting in Columbus’ upcoming primary election? Good idea, grasshopper. We all should exercise our right to vote in whatever way we deem fit, regardless of what the ne’er-do-wells say.

That means you should vote as if you held a scalpel against the neck of your most hated enemy. Vote like it’s the newest martial arts program jacked into Neo’s head.

Got that mental image? Good. Here’s what we mean by it:

Why bother to vote in a boring primary? If you’re a Democrat, and most of your candidates are going to float to the November election without your help, why not dabble in the Republican ballot?

If you haven’t already, take a look at the Republican ballot. They have the best party questions. For example: “Should Georgia have casino gambling with funds going to education?”

You probably think that Georgia Republicans will eschew any sort of casinos in the state, regardless of how the money’s used. But how would a Democrat feel about casinos when voting the Republican ticket? We here at PP&B think they’d put all their ballots on Number 23 and spin the wheel.

Morally reprehensible? Most definitely. Illegal? Not at all. There’s no law restricting voters from casting ballots in either party’s primary. So why not throw a wrench in the works and mess with the other guy?

If the suggestion upsets you, then you know how you’ll vote on this other Republican party question:

“Should citizens who wish to vote in a primary election be required to register by their political affiliation at least 30 days prior to such primary election?”

We know how we’re going to answer that question …

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