Champions of guitar compete at the RiverCenter. The Wonderettes are at the Springer and Bo Henry performs at the Loft. But if you prefer the unrivaled excitement of midget wrestlers flying through the open air then the Convention & Trade Center is the place for you.
Ah, a typical Friday night in Columbus.
We have people living downtown. We have a college campus on Broadway. Without moving our car, we can eat good food, have a tall drink of our choice and applaud headline acts on our various stages.
And on Friday night, in this very ring, we will have a bunch of midgets who think they're Hulk Hogan.
The acceptable term is "little people," but this group works under the banner of Atlanta Midget Wrestling. The Little People of America -- a support group that promotes awareness of dwarfism -- belittles such groups. The LPA abhors the use of the word "midget," considering it a hot-button racial slur.
The performers call themselves "micro wrestling athletes" and promise "twice the excitement at half the size" as they "bridge the gap between comedy and serious sports entertainment."
That last description is laughable, for who takes sports entertainment seriously?
Once known as professional wrasslin', it has turned into a soap opera on steroids with storylines straight from "The Young and the Restless" -- though the characters in Genoa City don't wear Spandex.
This same traveling road show performed last year after a Cottonmouths game. But Friday's 8 p.m. show at the Trade Center is a standalone event booked by the promoters.
As a warning, there might be blood, alcohol will be served and if you want a front row seat to the action you will need two twenty dollar bills.
This hardly fits into our typical lineup of entertainment but the executive director of the Convention & Trade Center said his facility is not in a position to say no to business.
"We are an all-purpose venue. We're here to open our doors to events that want to come to Columbus," David Bevans said.
Midget wrestling isn't a new phenomenon. It started long ago in vaudeville and later spread to carnival midways. Never a business to miss a gimmick, wrestling promotions added midgets to their weekly cards.
The business filled with wrestlers such as Little Beaver, Sky Low Low, Princess Little Dove, Lord Littlebrook and Puppet
the Psycho Dwarf. Vince McMahon and the WWE currently have "Hornswoggle," but only for comic relief.
The Atlanta group promises an appearance by the Russian Princess and four other miniature maniacs.
So hold on to your folding chairs, the little people are getting ready to rumble. And you best not ask them if it's fake.
-- Richard Hyatt is an independent correspondent. He can be reached at hyatt31906@knology.net.
