Tim Chitwood: Beware of Santa Claws on the woof

December 23, 2012 

Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of Monday Mail.

Happy...

Seems like I should mention some upcoming holiday. Let's see: The solstice was Friday; Festivus was Sunday. … Oh yeah: New Year's Eve is just a week away, and then it will be 2013, Don't forget that when post-dating checks.

Goodwill hunting

If like the Mayans you're now desperately trying to catch up on your Christmas shopping, relax -- because you're never going to now.

Ha! Just kidding. Multiple stores are going long just to catch all the last-minute shoppers who still want to fight over sneakers. Check today's ads.

Bull pit

Here's another one of those preschool taunts trolls use when a paid writer ridicules them back. It's from ster402005:

Dear World, I'm a Ledger Enquirer employee they pulled out of a janitorial position to write articles about pointless nonsense, and rag on posters in the paper cuz my little feelers got hurt. Sincerely, (insert your name here)

Dear ster402005:

In the spirit of the holidays, here's hoping you get all that you deserve this Christmas.

Pit bull

Today we have comments posted to a cop-beat piece about a guy who got attacked by pit bulls on Fort Benning Road.

Pit bulls are the poor person's home-security system, in bad neighborhoods. People put up "No Trespassing" signs, fence their yards and set loose unfriendly dogs to patrol the perimeter. And if those dogs get loose, they don't get any friendlier to strangers out on the street.

This first posting is from RockNTheFreeWorld:

Bad owners give pit bulls a bad name.

Dear RockN:

Bad owners are going to look a lot worse when eventually some very small child gets chewed up like a piece of meat. Then a pack of angry parents is going to be on the loose.

Catfight

Apparently WildCatt here is responding to RockNTheFreeWorld:

Only MORONS own pit bulls. Do you realize how many people fits into that category (probably including yourself)? Is it really worth it to chance someone's child being mauled, disfigured, or killed, just so you can compensate for your lack of endowment by having a vicious dog in your yard? There are far less-dangerous solutions to your problem (like marrying a 3-feet tall Chinese midget, for example)! Hope this helps.

Dear WildCatt:

You could have suggested an erectile-dysfunction drug instead of picking on tiny foreigners.

Tim Chitwood, tchitwood@ledger-enquirer.com, 706-571-8508.

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