While you classy folks watched "Downton Abbey" Sunday night, I cooked up a batch of sketti and enjoyed the return of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TLC.
In the first of a series of holiday specials, we watched the McIntyre, Ga., clan celebrate Halloween. Uncle Poodle got his head stuck in a pumpkin.
Mama dyed her hair blonde and unsuccessfully tried to conquer her fear of mayonnaise. Pumpkin couldn't go trick-or-treating due to a freak accident involving a set of keys and one of her eyes. Pretty standard stuff.
Here are my top 15 favorite lines from the episode:
1. "I'm not wop-sided. I'm just curviness and beautimous." - Mama
2. "Mama, you'll never be as beautiful as me. You just keep on trying, though." - Honey Boo Boo
3. "Smells like booty boo...and glue...and feet." - Honey Boo Boo, on the scent of hair dye
4. "Seeing June as a blonde would definitely make my loins perk up." - Sugar Bear
5. "Frisky McBrisky, we don't do that kind of business in our house." - Mama, to Sugar Bear
6. "I cannot stand mayonnaise." - Mama
7. "It tastes like vanilla ice cream." - Honey Boo Boo, on mayonnaise
8. "She claims the fart ghost is a ghost that you smell before it actually scares you." - Mama, on Honey Boo Boo's "fart ghost"
9. "Kackleberry Farm, we're going to rename it to Cankleberry Farm because my mama has cankles." - "Chubbs"
10. "Do they have a costume of bacon?" - Honey Boo Boo, at the costume store
11. "I think a good costume for Kaitlyn would be something like a hitchhiker." - Sugar Bear, on what the baby should be for Halloween
12. "I was the best vampire ever for Halloween." - Honey Boo Boo
13. "I get the most candy because I work it." - Honey Boo Boo
14. "Who gives dental floss for Halloween?" - Honey Boo Boo
15. "Mama, stop eating all our candy!" - Honey Boo Boo