It's School Board Appreciation Week. What will you do to celebrate?
Here in Muscogee County there is so much to appreciate about our school board that we don't know where to start.
This festive week is the brainchild of the Georgia School Board Association, which is probably holding its primary celebration in DeKalb County, where its new panel marked the day by canceling its lawsuit against the governor of Georgia.
Then again, the flagship event could be held in Atlanta, where a high school principal resigned this week after allegations that he ordered teachers to improperly change grades.
Muscogee County doesn't have those kinds of events to commemorate, but we have some exciting ones of our own and here are some suggestions on ways we can celebrate during this meaningful week:
One Year and Counting: Celebrate the first anniversary of Susan Andrews' announcement that she was resigning as superintendent. It seems like only yesterday, but it was 375 days ago. People who attend this emotional event will be entered into a lottery in which you can select the day (and the year) that the school board hires her successor.
John Phillips: "You Can't Fix Stupid:" Straight from a sellout appearance at a Columbus High School faculty party, Phillips performs his one-man show honoring the comedy of Ron White.
Who's the Principal?: Laugh with the board as they invite potential principals to a public meeting then send some of them home in tears.
One Call, That's All: Board members compete to see who gets to call in the Georgia Bureau of Investigation next.
Executive Session: At this free-wheeling forum, members argue the merits of barring the voting public from every school board meeting. Moderated by attorney Frank Myers.
John Wells -- A Retrospective: This veteran board member shares stories about what it was like when schoolhouses only had one room.
John Phillips Forever: In a moving ceremony, school board members announce that they have voted to name Phillips interim superintendent for life.
Is It Legal?: Attorneys for Hatcher, Stubbs, Land, Hollis & Rothschild reveal new legal research that shows they no longer require the services of the school board as they are now in charge of the school system.
Students? Who Needs Students?: To celebrate this special week, the school board conducts an unusual called meeting in which they actually discuss children and classrooms.
Myers vs. Phillips -- In a Steel Cage: To settle their dispute over how much the school district is spending every year on legal fees, attorney Frank Myers and Superintendent John Phillips meet in a ring covered by a cage made of unforgiving steel. The loser must leave town.
-- Richard Hyatt is an independent correspondent. Reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org.