Dwain Walden: The virtue of just saying, 'I don't care'

Moultrie ObserverApril 28, 2013 

Sometimes I think it's OK and even appropriate to say, "I don't care." What I mean is, sometimes it's a time-and-place comment that is not being rude or insensitive. It's just being humanly natural. It was not mentioned in Ecclesiastes, but I think it could have been if there had been more room to write. There is a time "not to care."

For instance, yesterday someone asked me what I thought about the movement to relieve the Catholic priesthood from the vow of celibacy.

I said, "Well, I simply don't care."

It's none of my business. I'm not a priest nor even a Catholic, so if I should have any kind of opinion on the matter, you could take that and five bucks and get a cup of coffee at Starbucks.

The way I look at it, we were all there on Career Day, and we got a pretty good idea of the ramifications of various vocations and professions. I could tell right away I didn't want to be a priest. Heck, I wouldn't even be part of any religion that fasted for more than eight hours at a time.

Along those lines, I heard a comedian say that someone found an ancient dusty book on Catholicism in the basement of an old church somewhere in Europe. He discovered a misspelling in some of the initial rules of the church and determined that it said "celebrate" and not "celibate." Oops!

Not long ago I heard some people on television talking about how sad it was that Muslim women had to wear those hot burkas over their heads. I was asked my opinion on that. Again, "I don't care." And again, it's none of my business.

In that instance, I was told I should care. Yet the person telling me I should care could not come up with a good argument except that it flew in the face of basic human rights.

His point was that in that society, the men who are supposedly strong to their faith and die for their fanaticisms get those 72 virgins when they get to Heaven. And he said there's nothing about the women getting any kind of reward.

In fact, he said it was a continuation of their low self esteem to get to Heaven and see their husbands, who previously had wrapped themselves with pipe bombs, hanging out with all those beautiful virgins.

I said, "Well that's their beliefs and none of my business."

Besides, I told him that maybe the females do get something that we don't know about. Maybe they get the entire reruns collection of "The Brady Bunch" or "Barnaby Jones."

Some folks got a little lathered up when Dennis Rodman went to North Korea and visited with little Ding Dong Doo. That didn't bother me a bit. It didn't affect the price of oil, the price of pork chops or the NFL draft. Bream still bed in the spring, and we can still turn cabbage into coleslaw. I did not care. Not one iota.

Maybe Ding Dong Doo wanted someone "to look up to." Or maybe he just wanted to sit on Rodman's shoulders and dunk a basketball.

And if Rodman should be hired to be on "Dancing With The Stars," my life will not be impacted by that event either. I don't care.

I don't go to bed at night worrying about where Ding Dong Doo might place his missiles. I would expect that if he gets too out of hand, China will tell him where to place them, given that we owe China so much money.

By comparison, I was much more worried that Tony Gonzalez would not come back for another year with the Falcons.

Now please don't get the idea that I'm a negative or insensitive person. Just this morning I stopped my car and removed a gopher tortoise from the middle of the highway. Unfortunately, there was oncoming traffic in the other lane so I returned him to side of the road from whence he came. But I turned him toward the woods. I don't know if that confused him.

And I don't think anyone has ever asked, "Why did the tortoise cross the road?"

Dwain Walden, editor and publisher of The Moultrie (Ga.) Observer; dwain.walden@gaflnews.com.

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