TIM CHITWOOD: Try running the 'Washing Machine'

June 23, 2013 

Tables of paper wood, windows of light, and everything emptying into Monday Mail.

White

Today's opening is from the song "Into White" by the artist formerly known as Cat Stevens. Guess why.

Whitewater

What else? Columbus' whitewater course is generating more buzz than the North Highland Dam.

Naming our Chattahoochee rapids has powered some brainstorms here, too. I don't know what we're going to name our signature wave-shaper -- Pemberton Falls, Phoenix Falls, Lint Falls, etc. -- but it won't be Ruby Falls, because that's taken.

So is Powerhouse, so my nomination was disqualified. The Ocoee River has a rapid named Powerhouse, and gosh knows we wouldn't want paddlers generating even more buzz by comparing our Powerhouse to the Ocoee's.

The online video called "Pile-up at Cut Bait" has some thinking the Cut Bait rapid needs a better title.

Poe folks

Perhaps "The Maelstrom," named for "A Descent into the Maelström" by Edgar Allan Poe. That's what a reader called the other day to say:

"I never liked the name Cut Bait anyway, and after seeing what happened, and having read Edgar Allan Poe's description of the fishermen and what they went through on the maelstrom, maybe it would be appropriate to look at renaming it," he said.

As long as his name's not associated with it, he added: "I really don't want any credit for this." Whitewater advocate John Turner might disagree, he said: "I think he sponsored that name, so I don't want to go against him."

Reading Poe can make you paranoid, you know.

Kayakers were calling that rapid Cut Bait long before the whitewater course was built. It used to end in a deep hole that sucked them down in a spin. They said it was like being in a "washing machine."

Hey, that could be a good name for a rapid, too.

White out

Here's a comment from "ster402005" posted to my June 1 Cut Bait column:

Editor: "OK people, keep it going. Keep the articles coming about this as we have nothing else of interest to write about." Alleged Reporters: "Gee willikers boss, we will do as you say and try to make it look like we have some sort of sense of humor." And then when the first serious injury or death comes along, they find out their sense of humor wasn't as tactful as they once thought. And then they will be writing about the death and driving that into our skulls for weeks. Not to worry. Before I moved here I had no idea there was even a Columbus, Ga., nor did I give a crap ...

Dear ster402005:

How did you know what our editor's saying? Are you with the NSA?

Tim Chitwood, tchitwood@ledger-enquirer.com, 706-571-8508.

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