Sorry, folks: I still don't understand The Movement.
It was one of the most commonly used phrases in MTV's Miley Cyrus documentary, which aired Wednesday night and was conveniently titled "Miley: The Movement." The hour-long documentary took us from the release of "We Can't Stop" to Miley's talked-about VMA performance.
Despite Miley's multiple vague references to The Movement, I still have no idea when it's arriving and whether I should buy extra rations in preparation.
The documentary also failed to explain Miley's erratic tongue movements, or Billy Ray Cyrus' recent whereabouts. An extended version will apparently air Sunday, so maybe we shouldn't abandon hope. I'd also like to see more Britney Spears-Miley Cyrus conversations.
If there's still time, I think producers should film a rebuttal to Sinéad O'Connor's recent "Open Letter to Miley Cyrus." An excerpt: "I am extremely concerned for you that those around you have led you to believe, or encouraged you in your own belief, that it is in any way cool to be naked and licking sledgehammers in your videos." (UPDATE: Ask and you shall receive. Here's Cyrus' response.)
But I digress.
Even amid my confusion, I managed to learn some things from "Miley: The Movement."
Check this out, then join the conversation: Did the documentary make Miley seem more normal, more crazy or somewhere in between?
Whatever it is, The Movement is going to be BIG. "For me, a movement is something that represents, like, taking over the world," Miley said.
Rapper Pharrell, a source of infinite wisdom, finally explained why Miley twerks. "Because shes a byproduct of America," he said.
Miley thinks she's a pretty big deal. "I was a lot of peoples first idol," she said.
Miley's summary of her VMA performance is pretty perfect. "Its a strategic hot mess," she said.
Trust is a fragile thing. "I have this freedom to do whatever I want because people trust me," Miley said.
Miley talks to her pets. Me too! Hey...suddenly The Movement's goal is incredibly clear. Count me in!
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