Tim Chitwood: Don't be in the dark this holiday

tchitwood@ledger-enquirer.comOctober 13, 2013 

One day with life and heart is more than time enough to find a world: It's Monday Mail.

Noted

Today's opening is from James Russell Lowell's "Columbus."

Columbus Day

It's Columbus Day, celebrating Christopher Columbus' discovering this "new world" that the indigenous people here he called Indians apparently had not noticed until Europeans arrived to tell them it had been discovered.

This may be a federal holiday, but if the federal government's already shut down, does it matter?

Aside from an 8 a.m. Columbus Recorder's Court session, the Columbus Consolidated Government will be closed today, so if this is your regular trash and recycling pickup day, don't bother hauling that out to the curb, because no one's going to get it except maybe a transient collecting aluminum cans.

The city trash and recycling pickup will shift forward a day, so Monday's garbage will be collected Tuesday, and Tuesday's garbage will be collected Wednesday, and then everything's back on schedule until Veterans Day on Monday, Nov. 11.

In the dark

Here's an email from "bbridges" regarding last week's Monday Mail column, in which I listed some of the unfortunate events that may occur when you get up in the middle of the night and try to stumble through the dark to use the toilet:

Hey Tim,

Sounds like you go to bed drunk every night if all those things happen to you when you have to get up to go the bathroom. Ever heard of a night light?

Dear bbridges:

I'll have you know that I do NOT go to bed drunk "every" night. Some nights I sleep on the couch.

What's a "Night Light"? Is it one of those low-calorie beers people sing about while playing beach volleyball in TV ads? I don't drink beer anymore.

Uncle Bob

Regarding that same column is this voicemail message from former Mayor Bob Poydasheff:

Tim,

That was a great article. Well, one: This is Poydasheff, of course. That was a great article, but I do have some advice, because a lot of the things that you say, happened to me, until Stacey said, "Bob, why don't we get these little night-thingies that we stick in and they reflect a nice little light so you don't go killing yourself as you go to tinkle?"

Keep up that great work, Tim. 'Bye.

Dear Bob:

Hmm. … OK then, maybe bbridges is right: I should get a night light.

Or I could get one of those headlamps like people wear to go caving or "spelunking" or whatever, and wear that to bed.

Then the light will always be on me.

Tim Chitwood, tchitwood@ledger-enquirer.com, 706-571-8508.

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