Tim Chitwood: Unplugging the Muscogee school board

October 20, 2013 

Wild as the Colorado yet warm as Costa Rica, it's Monday Mail.

'Hoochee-coochie

Today's opening is a promotional line for the film "Chattahoochee Unplugged," as in this pitch:

"Some 20 years ago one man dreamed the impossible: 'What if we remove the dams?' Chattahoochee Unplugged tells the story of how that dream has finally come true -- restoring a key stretch of the Chattahoochee River through Columbus, Georgia, to its natural state and at the same time creating the world's longest urban whitewater run. Wild as the Colorado yet warm as Costa Rica!"

Now that's a line we can use. ("Don't hook up with Maggie, Earl. She's wild as the Colorado and warm as Costa Rica.")

Unplugged

So, did you get to go to Thursday's Carmike 15 screening of the Georgia Public Broadcasting documentary on Columbus' whitewater project?

You didn't? Good: Then my favorite part's when we drown the zombies in a flood by blowing up the dams, but the blast awakens an ancient evil the wizard battles on the pedestrian bridge as the special operations team passes below in a swift boat on its mission to assassinate the rogue Army colonel.

It's to be on GPB 9 p.m. Tuesday, 7 p.m. Oct. 29 and 8 p.m. Oct. 30. It's to be on Alabama Public Television 9 p.m. Tuesday and 10 p.m. Oct. 29, according to chattahoocheeunplugged.org.

Party time

Did you read Sunday's piece about the Muscogee County school board? You didn't? Good, then you won't know what Jerry Luquire's talking about here:

In your school board Sunday dissertation you left out the important concern for friendships outside the board. I have often expressed that I like for everyone I like to like each other. Yet the antagonists or protagonists in the battle you describe are each a friend to me. Frank Myers, John Wells, Josh McKoon, Beth Harris and Cathy Williams have angst toward some of the others but I genuinely like them all. In other campaigns friends are in opposition. In a school board race I am supporting the candidate that another friend is vowing to "take out" when he runs. My Christmas party planner who years ago won my admiration for engineering plans to keep my friends who drink away from those who claim alcohol is beverage of choice in Hell itself has another challenge this year. Really, before you take on someone it would be appreciated if you would determine if you have a mutual friend who simply likes for all his friends to be friends.

Dear Jerry:

Please don't serve them alcohol. The cops are cracking down on house parties where people start shooting each other.

No joke about being offered a choice of drinks in Hell ever ends well.

Tim Chitwood, tchitwood@ledger-enquirer.com, 706-571-8508.

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