Thursday, Oct. 15, 2009

The Medical Center to remember infants who died

Remembrance service set for 6:30 p.m. at The Medical Center

For the first year, the Parent Advisory Council at The Medical Center is observing National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day with a remembrance service called “A Loss Not Forgotten.”

The service will take place at 6:30 tonight at the Columbus Regional Conference Center at The Medical Center.

“I’m hoping for other parents it will be part of a healing process,” said Angie Oakland, an advisory council member. “I know for me it’s part of healing to recognize and honor my baby.”

The service will feature a guest speaker and offer an opportunity for families to talk to one another about their experiences. Flowers will be available to place in vases in remembrance of a lost child.

The service is free and open to the public.

The Parent Advisory Council, established at The Medical Center in February 2006, consists of a 12-member council and four Medical Center staff members. The council supports families and staff in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.

As members of the advisory council, Oakland, Donna Lefcourt and Guy Sims understand what it feels like to lose a child.

Lefcourt gave birth to premature twins. One passed away six days later, the other spent 135 days in the hospital before she was well enough to go home.

Oakland had a complicated pregnancy and lost her baby less than 24 hours after he was born.

Sims endured multiple miscarriages with his wife, as well as complications with the birth of his grandchildren.

The council members all have experience with the neonatal ICU, which gives them a special understanding for what families with babies in the unit are going through.

“Basically our mission and our purpose is to advocate for the best benefit of our patients in the NICU and their families before, after and during their NICU stay,” said Amy Cason, former coordinator of the Parental Advisory Council. The remembrance ceremony is one way to help families grieve, be part of a community and to give them hope.

“It is so hard for a parent, right in the middle of all that, to really see that there is a future,” Sims said. “That’s one of the things that members of the PAC counsel.”

Lefcourt, Oakland and Sims all agreed that if someone hasn’t experienced the loss of a baby or spent time in the neonatal ICU, it’s hard to relate to those who have.

Oakland said people generally mean well when they say, “This is God’s plan” or “Life will go on,” but she added that “they don’t realize how unhelpful those words are.”

“Don’t try to give your advice because if you haven’t been through that, it’s not the same,” she said. “Just listen. It’s simple but it’s the most comforting thing.”

Which is why, Cason said, “another goal of this event is to educate those who haven’t personally experienced (the loss of a child), but have people in their circle of friends who have.”