In a move that everyone saw coming, presidential candidate and godfather Herman Cain "suspended" his presidential campaign Saturday afternoon.
Herman Cain is starting to realize what many of us have known for quite a few weeks -- that he has no chance of securing the Republican nomination, much less the presidency.
With the holiday doings of late, we here at PP&B haven't kept up with who the Republican front runner is.
Oh. My. Odin. Can you believe that Barack Obama wants to tax Christmas?
Herman Cain is no doubt an avid reader of this blog, as he has taken our august advice about how to deal with allegations of sexual harassment that have virtually crippled his campaign and caused him to do nothing else but deal with the situation.
We here at PP&B decided to take this opportunity to once again examine the Herman Cain sexual harassment scandal.
Just tuning into the Herman Cain sexual harassment saga? Don't worry, there's not much you need to catch up on. This is pretty much every sexual harassment allegation against every politician ever. The accusation that Cain sexually harassed two, maybe three, women in the 90s is just the latest incarnation.
Man, we figured someone would start slinging mud in the Republican primary campaign, but we thought the October surprise would come in 2012, not now.
Getting tired of all the political stories about the Republican candidates? Too bad, because you'll be reading more of them with every passing week.
Bad news for anyone who ever worked for failed Senate candidate and high magistra Christine O'Donnell: She doesn't like paying her debts.
What's better than forecasting who's going to win the presidential election? Who's going to win the presidential election after that one.
We here at PP&B take the thorny issue of Republican presidential candidates and tell you who matters, in order of importance:
Welcome back to President Watch! -- your deficient source for all things related to the White House.
Put this week on your calendar, folks, because it marks the point in the Republican presidential campaign when Michele Bachmann jumped the shark.
And you might ask yourself ... where has PP&B been for the past several weeks?
Let's just leave that question hanging there while we move on to other affairs, such as President Watch!, the newest feature to grace this blog's pages.And you thought Kim Kardashian was a poor man's Lindsey Lohan. Yeah, shows just how bad things have gotten.
We here at PP&B have recently been on the campaign trail, meaning that we haven't been updating as much as we should have.
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a startling move Monday, Republicans and Democrats broke through months of gridlock and agreed on everything from fixing the financial debt crisis to what should be had for lunch.
OMG BBQ, what is Michele Bachmann doing?
You know, gentle readers, that we here in the dungeon offices of PP&B want to support local businesses. We honestly believe in the 3/50 project, which argues that everyone should spend $50 at three different local businesses each month.
With all the recent news about prostitutes in River City recently, we here at PP&B thought it would be appropriate to reexamine our society's views on the world's oldest profession.
Michele Bachmann, an actual contender for the U.S. presidency, wants America to be more like a serial killer.
So, we here at PP&B imagine all of our loyal readers are still biting their nails over the impending August deadline to raise the debt ceiling.
No, gentle reader, Sarah Palin hasn't really quit her tour across America. We just used that headline to fool you into reading our blog post.
As is far too often the case here at PP&B, we let our vast repository of political knowledge get in the way of our equally large amount of humility. That leads to the little people not understanding the complex concepts we discuss at this blog.
Well, you heard it here 12th, folks: Rep. Anthony Weiner, that friend of strip clubs everywhere, has stepped down from the lofty halls of Congress.
You know, we here at the dungeon offices of PP&B could have made a lot of hay out of Rep. Anthony Weiner.
We here at PP&B pride ourselves at tackling the issues that no one else has the gumption to tackle.
For some reason, the Rapture did not come on Saturday, May 22, and life goes on in its ordinary, lame kind of way.
The 2012 presidential election season is really heating up, what with all these wannabees quitting the race before they've even officially begun. Haley Barbour, Donald Trump and some other guy we've already forgotten about have already bowed out.
You didn't hear it first here, folks: Donald Trump, the man, the legend, the hairpiece, will not run for president.
Did you just hear that sound? That's the sound the Obama machine makes as it feeds on news of Mike Huckabee bowing out of the 2012 presidential race.
Oh, man, just when you thought you could close the blinds and hide the sight of Russia from your front window forever ...
So, Newt Gingrich finally decided to toss his hat in the ring and really, truly and sincerely run for president of the United States.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the duck pond ...
We hope you've managed to calm yourselves after the recent passage of SB 10, which gives Georgia communities the ability to hold referendums on if alcohol should be sold off premises on Sundays.
Oh, man, this is not good for the Don.
President Barack Obama, long suspected to be a terrorist Kenyan from Indonesia by way of forged documents, released his long form birth certificate.We knew Miss. Gov. Haley Barbour wasn't going to be the next president. We'd just like to take this opportunity to tell everyone, we told you so.
You know, we here at PP&B are thankful that we get a few weeks of vacation each year. It's the American way.
After a more than healthy Easter meal, we here at PP&B were forced to realize that Michelle Obama's "Let's Move" initiative may very well be aimed at us.
We all can surely agree that Columbus is the best place in the country to live. Even we here in the dungeon bowels of PP&B like to partake in the joys that our fair city has to offer.
Can you smell that in the air? It's not spring. It's the Day of Reckoning, IRS style. That's right, it's tax day.
Check this out, reprobates:
Are you ready for some alcohol on Sunday, that is. Yes, that's right, the state House passed the state Senate's bill 127-44, sending legislation to the governor's desk that, if signed, will allow cities across Georgia to decide if they want to allow off premise Sunday alcohol sales.
Here we are -- just days away from the end of this year's session of the General Assembly, and there's only one question on everybody's minds: Will we get to buy booze on Sunday?
So, even though everyone talked about a government shutdown weeks ago that never materialized, this next one is REALLY going to happen.
We here at PP&B try to take every day, common problems with our nation and solve them in simple ways. Because, as our mothers taught us, sometimes the easiest method to fix a problem is the best.
Welcome back to the salt mines of PP&B, your only source of harsh political reality.
Usually, we here at the underground offices of PP&B only like to write about snarky news pieces. Today, however, we have a bit of good news.
Welcome back to the latest installment of PP&B, your only source of ill-informed, vapid opinion.
Our next guest on the show is Freedom Furniture and Electronics, a business that will replace the Books-A-Million that currently sits at Cross Country Plaza on Macon Road.Everyone still remembers Gilbert Gottfried, the former voice of the Aflac duck who got silenced when he started making cracks about the tragedy in Japan?
Ever wonder how people get cush jobs sending out heavy handed partisan emails? We sure have. For example, we're terribly interested to know how Andrea Bozek, regional press secretary with the National Republican Congressional Committee, got her current sweet job. It certainly wasn't by being "fair and balanced." Take a look at this recent gem. Our snarky comments are in bold:
It's always good when the AP is chasing after the wisdom of PP&B like so many lemmings rushing to their destiny.
So here we here, completely embroiled in the 2012 presidential campaign and not one worthy Republican has tossed his or hat in the ring.
Sarah Palin, darling of the 9th grade conservative elite, is unfortunately a darling no longer.
OMGBBQ, can you believe what just happened to Michaele Salahi?
Hey, we here at PP&B are all about keeping up with the Kardashians of politics, but there's something we missed: Donald Trump is running for president.
In a time of misery and turmoil, a hero foretold in ancient texts will rise. His name: Mitt Romney, the best hope the Republicans have for seeing the White House before 2016.
More bad news for conservatives: the evil, liberal leaning Politico has another slanted story saying that Barack Obama has a decent shot of getting re-elected.
You know, in our copious amounts of free time here in the PP&B dungeons, we often wonder what life would be like if Christine O'Donnell had won her bid for the U.S. Senate.
On this lazy Sunday, we here at PP&B would like to examine the prickly issue of censorship ... in video games.
Yeah, so we're pretty much still using the CPAC meeting as our Thanksgiving turkey. We're gonna eat off this thing all week.
It's that time of year again, where the most churlish of the conservative mindset break their chains and proclaim themselves the Fountainhead at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference.
Great news, folks: According to this story, taxes are at their lowest point since 1950.
That's right! Under the evil machinations of our demented, incompetent, just plain dumb and quite possibly a Chinese agent President Barack Obama, there's a fantastic chance that you're paying less taxes than you were under George W. Bush.Now, before we get all snippy, we want all our loyal readers to know that we absolutely adore George Will, the well known conservative pundit who resembles everyone's dad in the 1950's.
The State of the Union is over, and that can mean only one thing: it's time to get ready for the 2012 presidential election.
President Barack Obama begins his speech by congratulating the newly elected 112th Congress. He then says they are reminded of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords by her empty seat.
His speech begins: A robost democracy demands debate. However, the Tucson tragedy gave the country pause. No matter who we are or where we come from, each of us is part of something greater.We know that the State of the Union is still days away, but we here at PP&B can't give up an opportunity to plan for what we love best: Meaningless rhetoric filled with pomp and circumstance.
You may have missed this startling piece of news while you were searching through your alphabet soup: The House Republicans just repealed Obamacare.
We here at the underground bunker offices of PP&B were feeling a little bit frisky today, and we decided to once again check out what was going on at Conservapedia, the only real source of crazy right-leaning thought.
Welcome back, folks. It's another week of madcap action here at the dungeon offices of Political Pork & Beans, where we believe the American people have absolutely no idea how their government is supposed to function or what its duties really are.
As we discussed here, people are real keen to point fingers and assign blame in the shooting that took six lives and critically injured a congresswoman.
An Arizona congresswoman is shot, the suspect is arrested and the blogosphere erupts with ... apoplectic raving about Sarah Palin using "crosshairs" on a map of America months ago.
Hope you all had a great holiday season, because the time of good cheer is gone and we're already back for more of the same D.C. partisanship that makes our country great.
The long, arduous trek toward the 2012 presidential election has already begun.
We here at PP&B know that it's Christmas and everything, but is it really necessary to know in which order the president took communion?
So, you've no doubt heard the news about Miss. Gov. Haley Barbour waxing nostalgic about how he went to see Martin Luther King Jr. speak back in the day, when the governor would have been in his teens.
You might think that a recent decision by a federal judge on the health care issue would cripple President Barack Obama's chances at claiming victory. It would, if the executive branch had to fool around with obeying rules. U.S. District Judge Henry E. Hudson said in his ruling that the federal government can't force people to buy insurance.
We miss the heady days of late 2000, when nobody really knew who was going to be the next president. As this story states, Dec. 12, 2000, was the final day Florida could certify its vote. So it did, on a defective process. This is the 10-year anniversary of that special moment.
So, we bet you've been reading a lot about all this Wikileak stuff recently, huh? Pretty intense. You probably have a strong opinion about all this diplomatic hush hush information just getting tossed out there. Regardless of that opinion, we can all agree that the genie is out of the bottle. The bell has been rung. Done is done; it cannot be made undone. What to do then?
OK, so let's pretend that PP&B is really getting off on a new leaf here. We're not going to point and laugh at specific people anymore. Instead, we're going to speak in large intangibles and weave meaningful political insight without disparaging the good names of our current political talking heads.
Gentle reader, the answer to that question is simple: the writers at PP&B have been nursing a fortnight's long hangover the like's of which a Norse goddess of winter has not seen. But, thankfully through the magic of needing a paycheck, we are back and vigorously scanning the latest headlines for blog fodder. What's this ? Meghan McCain believes she has some intelluctual value?
There is a fundamental problem with many in this country. Plenty of folks are angry at what they call out-of-control spending and they want to rein their government back into control. However, their arguments on how to stop spending all this cash and pay off the debt are nebulous at best and juvenile at worst.
Thankfully, at least two Democrats are taking the advice of yours truly here at PP&B. As the linked article states, these two want to delay votes on who becomes the next leaders of the party until after Thanksgiving. This would give all good Dems time to reflect on what's best for the party.
We here at PP&B are big fans of power. Of how to get it, keep it and exploit it horribly. That's why we are saddened to see that outgoing Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi intends to run for a leadership position within Congress once the Republicans take over. Her desire to remain in power is only going to help the Repub's cause.
Now that the elections of 2010 are over, let's examine the aftermath: the Democrats have lost control of the House, barely hung onto the Senate are now wonder what will happen to them in two years.
With Guy Fawkes Day just hours away, we here at PP&B thought we'd delve into the psychology of recognizing, even idolizing, a guy who tried to blow up the political establishment of his day. Guy Fawkes, by all accounts, was part of a plot to kill the king of England and install a Catholic as the new head of state.
Now that the votes are in, the tallies tallied, and pretty much all the races that anyone really cared about are resolved, we know that polls can pretty much be depended on for most things in our lives. For example, we know that if you nominate a witch for a Senate seat, she'll lose, regardless of how well she knows Dumbledore.
This just came across the wire. Check it out: Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee Chairman Chris Van Hollen are stating flat out that Democrats will hold onto the House, despite predictions of a GOP wipeout. "We're on pace to maintain the majority in the House of Representatives," Pelosi just told reporters. Wow.
On the eve of the most important election ever, ever, we here at Election Watch (tm) 2010 are forced to ponder the following: Should we remain a democracy? Of course, we realize that America isn't a true democracy but instead a republic in which the people vote for corporate fatcats who hate the common folk or liberal flag haters who seek to destroy the country from within and then send them to do...
Barack Obama, believed by some to be the president of the United States, made a last-minute stop in Ohio in an attempt to do, well, something. It sure wasn't to get people to vote Democratic, since that would be a colossal waste of time. Now, as the above linked story states, it may be to lay the seeds for his 2012 campaign for re-election.
It's Halloween here at Election Watch 2010 (tm) and that can only mean one thing: Everyone is wondering who's going to be the Republican nominee for president for 2012. That's right, while other Senate candidates might be spending their time in Potions class with Professor Snape, most pols are wondering if they have what it takes to be the next president.
We here at PP&B are dedicated to bringing you the most vapid, nonsensical political coverage we can possibly muster while under the influence. Unfortunately, our crackjack team of writers is under the weather today and likely won't be able to reach their barstools until sometime around noon Friday.
Welcome back for another edition of Election Watch (tm), your only source for real, unadulterated news. A new poll is out, and it says that one in three people has yet to even start caring that there's an election next week. Now, that shouldn't be music to any Democratic ears, since the party of the left will still lose seats.
The November midterm elections are less than two weeks away and that can mean only one thing: the revival of PP&B's "Election Watch," version 2010. Keen readers will remember Obama Watch (tm) that graced these pages in the days leading up to President Barack Obama's ascension into the Heavenly Host.
It has absolutely, just got-to-be a sad, slow newsday when Meghan McCain's meanderings make the news. So, what is the hubub, bub? Pretty much, one vapid celebrity who doesn't deserve her 15 minutes says something mean about a counterpart.
So, how many of you guys actually watched the debate between Coons and O'Donnell Wednesday night? Really? Not us here at PP&B. We never miss an episode of "Survivor." Ever. But we do enjoy reading the summaries and some commentary of the debate after the fact. The above-linked article points out something everyone can sink their teeth into.
The question everyone is asking today: How can I, too, get $1 million for being naked? For the man featured in the above-linked article, it's as easy as painting an advertisement across your chest and frolicking at a Barack Obama rally. The average reader can react to this story in various ways: Amusement at the antics; anger that someone would disrespect the president in such a way;
We'll tell you what isn't in our crystal ball: College age pictures of us making obscene gestures during a holiday party and completed registration forms required in a run for public office. Because when you put those two things together, what you're going to get is a failed political campaign.
So, there's already talk of Barack Obama tossing Joe Biden to the side in favor of Hillary Clinton as his new veep in 2012. The talking heads love to put the cart before the horse. The November election hasn't even happened and people are theorizing about who Obama will pick for veep when he runs for office again. Just wait until after the 2012 presidential election.
