You had me at “boo-boo kins.”
Once I processed your secret language, you locked me with your incessant PDAs — moments that are always followed by a screaming match.
That’s how you became my favorite annoying couple.
I’m not the only person who has one.
The divisive duos often cling to their social circles, filling conversation lulls with either gag-inducing pleasantries or angry assertions that “it’s a couple thing.”
They mess up schedules to accommodate mandatory check-ins. They tell vacation stories that consistently test the limits of “TMI.”
Why do you keep the annoying couple around?
They offer one of the most important ingredients in relationship survival: a reminder that things could be worse.
Many of us learned this lesson by studying one of the most riveting pieces of social commentary in recent history.
I’m talking about “The Hills.”
The MTV quasi-reality series, which premieres its final season at 10 p.m. Tuesday, took relationship train wrecks to a new high.
We can thank the show for Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, the inescapable pop culture force nicknamed “Speidi.”
During their time in the MTV spotlight, the pair has graced frequent tabloid covers and made it nearly impossible to visit a mainstream news website without the promise of “new plastic surgery photos!”
But at the same time, I’ll venture the couple has saved many relationships.
Think your boyfriend’s refusal to hit the mall is breakup-worthy?
Look on the bright side: He hasn’t made you sever ties with your entire circle of friends and immediate family.
Annoying couples — the ones you invite and console out of obligation, rather than excitement — generally operate under this social mantra: “You just don’t understand.”
They’re right. And that’s a good thing.
Their head-scratching behavior is often exactly what the rest of us need to bring clarity to the most appealing aspects of our own relationships.
In a world of conflicting relationship advice, the annoying couple makes for some strange reassurance. They put our romantic flaws in perspective.
We leave a double date and erase our romantic insecurities with a confident, “Hey, at least we’re not like them.”
Just remember, the annoying couple is likely releasing an exaggerated sigh at the same time — breaking up, making up and then vowing via their secret language to never become like you.
Right, boo-boo kins?
Sonya Sorich, reporter, can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or 706-571-8516.