Not everyone can afford to go to a first-run movie, and at $12.50 a pop, I can see why. So, along with our regular movie reviews, The Bayonet decided to review recent releases out on DVD.
In our first review, I look at Crazy on the Outside featuring Tim Allen in his directorial debut. The movie was released in January and I can see why it didn’t take long for it to be released on DVD — just three months after failing miserably at the box office.
Allen plays Tommy, a fresh-out-of-prison con looking for a second chance in life. Things don’t get off to a very good start. Tommy walks out of prison and waits hours for his sister Viki, played by Sigourney Weaver, to pick him up. Viki is a piece of work and has a lie for every occasion, which Tommy experiences firsthand when his grandma welcomes him home believing he has been away in France for three years. The problem is, Tommy’s grandma spent three years learning French, and yes, you guessed it — Tommy doesn’t speak a lick of French, even after his three years in “France.”
Tommy plans to revive his late father’s painting business while on probation and to track down his ex who dumped him while he was in prison. His two goals become problems when he is told by Viki, that his ex died in an automobile crash, and his probation officer Angela, played by Jeanne Tripplehorn, finds him his first job — a cook at Pirate Burger.
While Tommy is not happy with his newfound career, he either takes the job or it’s back to the joint. Then a strange thing happens — he sees a customer who looks just like his supposedly dead ex, Christi, played by Julie Bowen. Viki couldn’t have lied about her death too, could she? Tommy finds out Christi is alive and engaged to Frank, played by Kelsey Grammer. Tommy and Christi still have a “thing” going on, but not enough to replace the financial benefits of Frank’s money. But, Christi is willing to work around being married for the physical benefits Tommy can give her.
While Tommy is busy chasing after Christi, he is beginning to fall in love with his probation officer, Angela. Problems arise when Tommy is torn between how he is beginning to feel about Angela and going back to his old ways with his old partner Gray, played by Ray Liotta. Tommy and Gray used to pirate DVDs, the reason Tommy was sent to prison. Gray is grateful to Tommy for not “ratting” him out, and during the three years Tommy was in prison, Gray built an illegal DVD empire and wants Tommy to reap the rewards of his silence.
In the end, Tommy … ? Well, I don’t want to spoil the ending, so you’ll have to rent it to see if Tommy goes back to prison, gets the girl or ends up getting offed by Frank.
But, don’t let the trailers fool you. The trailers showed the funny parts, but the movie dragged along too much. The amount of funny doesn’t equal the cost of the rental.
Don’t get me wrong, Tim Allen was funny, but I saw this movie more as an extended version of a pilot for what might make a decent television series. Seeing as it grossed a little more than $68,000 in its box-office debut, I think most probably agree it wasn’t Tim Allen’s best, unless you are an Allen fan.
I say, skip Crazy on the Outside and move on to something else.
Two out of five stars.
Next week’s review: Up in the Air starring George Clooney. If you have seen this movie, we want to hear your comments on it. E-mail your comments to email@example.com and you might just see them in the Reader’s Take portion of From Reel to Rental. You can also post comments The Bayonet Facebook page in the Discussion Board section.