It’s OK to support midget violence -- that is, assuming you pay the required cover charge and keep your hands out of the wrestling ring.
I learned the lesson in June, when I covered a Micro Wrestling Federation event at downtown Columbus nightclub Oxygen.
I cheered as the show’s mini athletes kicked and punched each other.
I stayed mesmerized when they sported “I Support Midget Violence” T-shirts while interacting with fans after the event.
And now, in a testament to the depth of my journalism career, I’m covering midget wrestling again. The stars of the Micro Wrestling Federation return to Oxygen tonight.
Amid global challenges and political dilemmas, you raise an important question:
Do we really need another article about midget wrestling?
I acquired a certain level of wisdom after attending my first Micro Wrestling Federation event. I’m now call myself a midget wrestling enthusiast, rather than a mere spectator.
Before I outline what to expect tonight, there’s an obvious issue to address. Some of you likely think this column is offensive.
“The term midget is non-offensive to us as long as it’s used to promote the Micro event and not used in a derogatory manner towards little people,” according to information posted on the Micro Wrestling Federation’s website.
Got it? Many post-show discussions of midget wrestling rely on a simple mantra: “You had to be there.”
However, if you’re looking for an advance glimpse into tonight’s event, I’ll emphasize there’s nothing amateur about the ordeal.
The stars will entertain you. My first brush with midget wrestling included a ring announcer and a nightclub packed with excited partiers.
Something else that impressed me? The show’s stars are multi-talented.
When I went to Oxygen in June, one of the mini athletes followed the main event with a special performance that involved hip gyrations and $1 bills. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.
I went into my first midget wrestling event bogged down by questions about the event’s potential offensiveness.
When I interviewed the wrestlers, I feared they’d consider my questions condescending.
Instead, we talked about their travel schedule, training regimen and the wildest place they’ve performed. (The honor went to a small town in Ohio, strangely.)
Midget wrestlers aren’t intent on scrutinizing your choice of words.
They’re too busy gaining support for their brand of violence -- the kind that causes the most pain when you realize you’re too tall to participate.
Sonya Sorich, reporter, can be reached at email@example.com or 706-571-8516.