I’m sorry, but your relationship is too plastic to last beyond Valentine’s Day.
Did you really expect things would turn out differently? You’re both busy, not to mention slightly self-absorbed.
You should know better, Barbie.
You and Ken broke up in 2004. I cried in public but was secretly grateful to learn your seemingly perfect romance wasn’t so flawless after all.
I also applauded your strength.
There’s something admirable about regaining a sense of independence after a 43-year romance.
I was proud of you, Barbie. Then, you disappointed me.
You didn’t even have the heart to tell me directly. While stalking your Twitter account, I learned you’re considering rekindling your romance with Ken.
That led me to Ken’s Twitter site, where I learned he even designed a Barbie Cupcake in hopes of winning you back.
The final straw? BarbieandKen.com. Trying to put your relationship’s future in voting fans’ hands is slightly brilliant. And pathetic.
Don’t pretend Ken is blameless, homegirl.
I’ve heard the accusations. I’ve visited Ken & Ben, a website that claims the object of your affection has found someone new to love.
You can do better.
There’s a good chance my opinion won’t change your decision. You’ve likely already made up your mind. Some rumors say that by the time this article prints, you’ll have announced your decision to take Ken back.
However, I had to weigh in.
Because you’re not just Barbie. You’re all of us (physical measurements excluded).
My issue isn’t so much the potential reconciliation itself, but rather its timing. I’m worried your romantic opinion has changed mainly because you want a Valentine.
As the holiday approaches, many daters embrace an urge to idealize past relationships.
We forget about the fights and red flags just long enough to believe one night of roses and chocolate can resuscitate a dead relationship.
That’s how we end up like you, Barbie -- staring at an ex’s Facebook profile days before Feb. 14 and considering a reconciliation.
Having a bad Valentine’s Day date is better than being alone, right? Wrong.
One nice dinner probably won’t outweigh the discomfort of being stuck in a relationship that’s already crashed and burned.
So maybe you’ve already decided to take Ken back.
But there’s still time for the rest of us.
This Valentine’s Day, resist the tendency to find a date solely for the sake of having a date.
Because the quality of your dream house or dream vacation won’t matter if you’re not satisfied with the quality of your partner.
Sonya Sorich, reporter, can be reached at ssorich@ledger- enquirer.com or 706-571-8516.