Is making new friends kind of like dating?
I kind of felt that way when I first moved here, not really knowing how to maneuver the waters of a new social situation: friendless, in a relationship, and in unfamiliar surroundings.
I didn't know where to go or how to just go up to some girl and start talking without her thinking I was a creep.
I remember saying one day, exasperated, "I feel like I'm asking her out on a date!"
My boyfriend just laughed at me. And, admittedly, it probably was a pretty funny situation. But I start to analyze things to death and before I can just do it, I automatically think of a million things that could be wrong about what I'm about to do.
I came across this article on CNN called "How to find a new best friend," and I'm happy to realize that it's not just me - the author of the piece admits that the approach to finding a new best friend is quite similar to dating.
Obviously the pop culture commonalities are important to me - what kind of music does the person listen to; does she read, and if so, what kinds of books; what movies are at the top of her list.
But I've realized, as I've made this journey into adulthood, that those things just aren't as important as they used to be, though they are good conversation starters.
So what if she likes Jay Z and I prefer Rancid? In the end, as long as we share some of the same core values and morals, isn't that what matters?
Just as we age and look for more mature romantic relationships, the same can be said for friendships.
In a best friend, I'm no longer looking for the person who will drive to the city to see a concert with me or drive me home from the bar when I've had too much to drink.
As much as I never liked politics to play into my social life, that seems to be a bigger indicator of where we meet on that values/morals scale.
Not that I can't get along and have a perfectly good time with someone I have nothing in common with - on the contrary, it generally makes for some excellent conversation and debate (given that both sides are good natured).
But a best friend has to have certain qualities.
And while an extensive library containing all of Chuck Palahniuk's books and Danzig's entire discography might be a huge plus, it's definitely not the only thing I look for in a friend.