Here we are in San Francisco! Seacrest reminds us that this is where we found Season 5 runner-up Katharine McPhee and, um, William Hung.
Oh, and there was a proposal AND marriage in the audition line.
Our first auditioner: Tatiana Nicole Del Toro from Puerto Rico. Which makes me wonder why she didn't audition in Puerto Rico.
Her defining characteristics are a really annoying laugh and the fact that she went to a psychic pre-audition. Oh, and she's wearing a tube dress with something that looks like a mermaid tail on it.
Yeah, this should turn out well.
She approaches the panel with a gift: Her press kit, which includes a "naughty" photo of her in a corset. Simon seems to like it a little TOO much. He does ask why she didn't audition in Puerto Rico, and she says she couldn't wait.
And now the singing: She pulls out "Never Loved a Man" by Aretha and -- get this -- she's actually OK. She's no worse than, say, Haley Scarnato of Season 6, but the annoying personality might hurt her.
Simon: "I think that you would do a lot of things very well, but not singing."
Simon continues the criticism, but Tatiana interrupts with the opening bars of her second, and then third, efforts.
Paula's a yes, though. She thinks Tatiana could spice up the competition. I think she's just happy there's someone crazier than herself in the room.
Back to the decision: Randy's a yes! "Because you are wild and I like it." Kara's on the edge.
She's going to Hollywood!
Parting words from Randy: "Remember, this is not a prom, but you're going to Hollywood." Simon closes things with, "Well, she didn't get through on her vocals."
Hey...at least she didn't show up in a bikini.