Oh, America, why do you do this to us?
We have been so very good for such a long time, and are in no way deserving of this punishment. In fact, we registered to vote, looked up a couple of candidates online and even made it to the polls for some election at some point within the past two years.
Admitedly, we have transgressed but certainly not to the extreme that requires a reality TV show about Bristol and Levi. We may have watched an episode or two of a show involving some version of a Kardashian. Perhaps we even searched for a certain men's magazine featuring one of the aforementioned family members.
But these sins in no way require or deserve this tepid excuse for television entertainment to be forced upon us. Haven't we been, um, exposed to Levi Johnston enough? Can't Bristol stop appearing on television after a few PSAs and a cameo on some show for U.S. teens living some esoteric life?
Or is this the price we have to pay for watching "The Hills" for a whole Saturday? If we could take it back and watch Tucker Carlson babble for 24 hours straight, we would.
Oh, America, please believe us, we would.