Here's Jessika Baier, who got to the Puerto Rico auditions by winning a contest. And that's not her first victory. She's won 700 singing competitions, she says.
Unfortunately, it's quickly clear she must have been judged solely by her family members.
She completely bombs Celine Dion's "I Surrender," and remains delusional when the judges give her a four-way no.
Back in NY, we get Melinda Camille, 21. She's on a mission to promote happiness, in a unique way:
"I'm happy while I dance naked in my room."
Melinda approaches the judges, who waste no time asking about her desire to enter a nudist colony. Cue Kara's dangerous sensuality.
Kara: "Do you wish you could be naked right now?"
Melinda: "If all of you were naked."
Banter aside, she pulls out a decent version of "Feelin' Good," and the panel is bound to give her a "yes" based on intrigue value alone.
Four-way yes, with Simon's perveted wink. This show is getting so gross.