Here's Jessika Baier, who got to the Puerto Rico auditions by winning a contest. And that's not her first victory. She's won 700 singing competitions, she says.
Unfortunately, it's quickly clear she must have been judged solely by her family members.
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She completely bombs Celine Dion's "I Surrender," and remains delusional when the judges give her a four-way no.
Back in NY, we get Melinda Camille, 21. She's on a mission to promote happiness, in a unique way:
"I'm happy while I dance naked in my room."
Melinda approaches the judges, who waste no time asking about her desire to enter a nudist colony. Cue Kara's dangerous sensuality.
Kara: "Do you wish you could be naked right now?"
Melinda: "If all of you were naked."
Banter aside, she pulls out a decent version of "Feelin' Good," and the panel is bound to give her a "yes" based on intrigue value alone.
Four-way yes, with Simon's perveted wink. This show is getting so gross.