Great news, folks: According to this story, taxes are at their lowest point since 1950.
That's right! Under the evil machinations of our demented, incompetent, just plain dumb and quite possibly a Chinese agent President Barack Obama, there's a fantastic chance that you're paying less taxes than you were under George W. Bush.
Wait wait wait. There's no need to get upset. Let's have some quality control. First, blame the reporter who penned the above linked story. He's obviously a liberal troll and in the employ of the aforementioned evil president.
Also, blame the liberal media, which is paid with your tax dollars (under the table, of course) to perpetuate the myth that the president wants what is best for all Americans.
Never miss a local story.
You should be feeling a bit better by now, but your work isn't over yet. Maybe you're still feeling a little queasy about what might, just might, be an article that isn't entirely fabricated by some tweed-wearing professor turned journalistic hack. No problem. Skim through the reader comments below the story and feel justified in your own opinions when you find people who feel just like you.
Keep scrolling down and looking for those who back up your political beliefs for at least three minutes. You may need to repeat this process.
Still have a worrying feeling in your gut? Then buy yourself a beer and try to relax a little. That's what we here at PP&B intend to do.
Of course, with all the money we're getting back this year on our taxes, we'll be drinking the good stuff. You know, because we deserve it.