Move out of my way. You're walking too slow.
According to this article, I might have sidewalk rage. Similar to road rage, it is characterized by an overwhelming desire to push aside and overtake the slow and confused pedestrians in front of you. (There's even a Facebook group for it)
The writer is from Manhattan, where most people walk rather than drive to work, but says that sidewalk rage can occur in other parts of the country.
I'm a fast determined walker. I always have been. When I was nine and I played the Virgin Mary in my church's Christmas pageant, my Sunday school teacher had to keep telling me to slow down during the processional. "You're supposed to be nine months pregnant," she said. "Joseph can't keep up." Poor, slow-poke Joseph. I left him in the dust.
I breeze through the mall, only stopping to window shop if something colorful or sparkly catches my eye during my blinding dash to my destination. Those random meandering groups of teenagers trudging through Peachtree Mall? I hate them.
I like leisurely walks in the park, but not when it's crowded and I'm there to exercise. Please keep your dogs, kids, strollers and bicycles to one side, so I can finish my workout and get home to watch Bones.
I avoid getting carts at the grocery store whenever possible. Carts take up too much space in the aisle and make it impossible to get in and out of the store in a timely manner. Baskets are much more efficient. When I do have to get a cart, watch out. I probably have cart rage, too.
The cure for sidewalk rage? Patience and politeness. Don't get angry, just slow down and take in your surroundings. I need to remember to do this. Who knows what I might discover if I strolled, instead of sprinted through my day?