If you’re like me, you enjoy your newspaper first thing in the morning, before breakfast, served with the sunrise and a cup of strong coffee. I’m afraid you’re in for a rude awakening, my friend. We’re talking about poop today. Piles and piles of foul-smelling dog poop. I hope you’re not squeamish.
If you find the subject offensive sandwiched between the news and sports, where the worst you expect is a nasty case of newsprint residue, you won’t like it any better when you stumble across a messy mound on your front lawn or down the street at the playground or park. Not even the dog park. Not even after a second cup of coffee.
Here at MWR, we’re hearing an awful lot of complaints about pet waste in and around the dog park on Main Post at Blue and French youth sports fields on Yeager Avenue. Yes, there is plenty of it, I actually walked the park with the Deputy Garrison commander and saw it for myself. A few years back, MWR invested tens of thousands of dollars to turn a couple of old polo fields into a park and sports complex we’re very proud of. I think you are, too, because they are consistently at the top of the facilities and amenities you tell us you value.
Please help us keep these fields clean for the sake of hygiene and good taste. If your dog (or ferret or toddler or whatever) relieves himself in a public place on post, please do us all a favor, bag it and toss it in a trash receptacle, even if no one is watching.
They say — the ubiquitous “they” — that your character is defined by what you do when no one is around to see what you’re doing. Or not doing. I say your character is defined by whether or not you scoop when no one is around, or when you’re in a hurry, or when you’ve got one hand on the leash and the other on a stroller. Or when, gulp, “it’s” not quite solid enough to be easily scooped. Too bad, do it anyway.
And, if you’re one of the faithful who happens to observe someone derelict in his doodie, please point it out to him. Literally, point it out to him. Point, cough, clear your throat, hand him a scooper and a plastic bag, or follow him home and dump it on his doorstep. No, don’t do that, but you get the idea.
Let’s not allow the two-legged irresponsible animals — pet owners — to ruin our nice parks. Poop has its place, and it’s not a public place, like the park or the newspaper.