The Aflac Games, a combo of lumberjack games and other outdoor sports, debuts this weekend. We get to watch dogs hurling themselves off the end of a dock into water, which will, of course, be awesome. Even better, we get to watch two people racing up giant poles with harnesses and cleats, then sliding down as fast as they can. I think that contest will promptly be followed by the Ambulance Race to the Hospital event. Tickets range from $10-$15 at the South Commons gate, and events start at noon today and 10 a.m. Saturday-Sunday. Details: 706-660-1996.
People can make fun of me for going to see animated films — as an adult with no kids — all they want. I'll stop going see Pixar films when Pixar films start to suck. "Wall-E" doesn't suck, according to the universal acclaim being heaped on it. So I'll see you at the latest screening possible, to minimize the number of kids who'll be there. Showtimes: 706-571-3456.
Saturday night, it's to The Loft, where Nashville's gritty Coal Men play. What do they sound like? Imagine if the Wallflowers had Mick Jagger's kid in it instead of Dylan's. They play with Rick Brantley, who kicks out Faces-style blues/rock with a tinge of gospel pow-uh. The show starts around 9:30 p.m., and the cover is $5. Details: 706-596-8141, www.theloft.com.
— Brad Barnes
KEEPING UP APPEARANCES
Here's your chance to spend a weekend forgetting your mother's insistence that it's what's on the inside that really matters. Ditch your self-help manuals and devote these three days to embracing the perks of physical perfection.
At the heart of that goal? The Miss Georgia Competition, when 38 women will vie for the chance to compete in the Miss America Pageant. It's 7:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday in the RiverCenter's Bill Heard Theatre, 900 Broadway. Tickets are $25-$50 Friday and $35-$75 Saturday.
But beauty isn't only about hot 20-somethings removing unsightly body hair to receive a scholarship. Just ask Vince Vance, who performs with his band the Valiants Saturday night at the Phenix City Amphitheater.
Vance is the guy who co-composed "All I Want for Christmas is You," but he's also known to sport an 18-inch-tall beehive hairstyle and SpongeBob SquarePants shorts. Hot. Show starts at 8 p.m. and tickets are $10, free for guests 12 and younger.
Finally, end your weekend Sunday night by staring at all the beautiful teenagers on a "Gossip Girl" rerun at 6 p.m. on The CW. Between choruses of "OMG" and "XOXO," you'll come to the sad realization that the ruffle dress you wore to junior prom wasn't really that cute after all.
Don't worry. Somewhere, a former beauty queen is sharing your pain.
— Sonya Sorich
(UN)DRESS FOR SUCCESS
Looking for meaningless debauchery and mindless fun this weekend? Sweet. So's everyone else. Start things off right by visiting Aqua Nightclub Friday night for Chippendales. A ladies only event, the doors open at 7 p.m. and the devo action starts at 9 p.m. Bring $20 to get through the door and lots of singles.
Sorry, ladies, Brad did apply to dance but didn't make the cut.
Keep the fun train going by visiting the newly opened H2O either Friday or Saturday. It's by the new Goodwill on Veterans and by all accounts is a hep, hep, hep place. It's free before 8:30 p.m. but the cover is kicked up to $15 after that.
Wear your shortest skirt and slink up to the pole on the second floor. Between songs, check out the bar that's right behind you. Their gins on ice are superb.
On Sunday, take it down a few notches by chilling by the swimming pool of your choice. You'll have to stock up on liquor the night before, so check out a bottle of Red Appel vodka and a Sonic drink as you meditate by the water.
— Alan Riquelmy