For psychologists, there are Type A and Type B personalities.
For Chinese philosophers, there is yin and yang. (Not to be confused with rapping sensation the Ying Yang Twins.)
And in the dating scene, there are two types of guys -- openers and closers. In my adventures in dating, I have realized that we all seem to fall into one of those two categories if we are single and in pursuit of the opposite sex.
An opener can start a conversation with any woman, anywhere at any time. Most importantly, he doesn't fear rejection.
He knows what to say to get things started, is a great listener and can make a connection with just about anything.
"You like to run? I just finished my first marathon in 3 hours, 30 minutes."
"You're working on your master's in psychology at Florida International University? I have friends who teach there."
"You own penguins and live in an igloo? I loved the movie "Happy Feet" -- and I'm 1/55th Eskimo."
Then you have your closer. This guy comes into the scene once the opener has started his rap and spices things up. He knows the next place to go. He is introduced to the friend of the woman at the bar and buys a round of drinks. Maybe he's someone important or with a more interesting job, but in either case, the conversation escalates.
"Hey, let me introduce you to my friend. He chases hurricanes for a living."
"My buddy is a professor of psychology and he teaches how to break down a crime scene."
"You may have read his column, The Dating Game. No? Well, he's a nice guy regardless."
Think of it like the recruitment of a star athlete for a college football scholarship. One set of coaches pays the initial visit and opens the conversation, and another set comes in and gets the player to commit to the team.
But let's get one thing settled. This is not bad cop-good cop, the original single-guy teamwork that seems as cheesy and outdated as those old TV cop shows like "Chips" or "T.J. Hooker." Women can predict when Prince Charming is coming to apologize for his buddy's behavior.
As I developed a new group of single-guy friends here in Miami, I discovered that some are great openers, others great closers.
After a while, we recognized what worked and what didn't. Eventually it came naturally who was going to open the conversation and who was going to make sure it continued.
See, most guys can do either one or the other. At times they can appear to have both characteristics, and may need to depart from their top skill on rare occasions, but in the end they are always strongest at one.
So when a group of guys goes out, they can't have a monopoly on only one characteristic. That's just bad form.
Imagine if two or three guys great at opening conversations met a woman at a bar, but after a few minutes things hit a lull and no one knew what to do next? It could get pretty dull, and she's not going to expose any of her friends to the Boring Brigade.
So when guys head out, they have to make sure there's an opener and closer. Even Confucius would tell you, it's a yin-yang thing.