Flowers in the trunk
It’s been a hella week, what with the never-ending rain, and it’s time to do something stupid. By stupid, of course, I mean responsible and law-abiding, so keep your blame away from me come Monday morning.
I’ve tried to pack everything to do during the same times on Saturday, so you’ll have to spend Laundry Day recovering with a Bloody Mary and some Sarah McLachlan.
The Foxie 105 Spring Break Concert and Talent Show starts at 6 p.m. Saturday at Golden Park. Bring $20; you already missed the deadline for getting cheap tickets.
Flowers Tucci, the porn star your mother would rather not entertain at the dinner table, appears at Fantasy's Adult Store, 5664 Lakeshore Road, in Columbus between 6-8 p.m.
The Columbus Lions square off against the Baltimore Mariners at 7:30 p.m. Saturday in what will no doubt be a thrilling game of indoor football at the Columbus Civic Center.
Craving some badonkadonk
It's just a matter of weeks until Sticks Country Festival invades Auburn, and I'm guessing you don't even have a cute pair of cowboy boots yet. That's why you need to devote this weekend to all things country.
Priority No. 1: While wasting valuable company time Friday afternoon, head over to the festival's Web site and buy your ticket for the April 17 and 18 event. It's $85 for a two-day pass, which isn't bad, considering the lineup includes more than 10 acts. Expect to see Trace Adkins, Gretchen Wilson, Sara Evans and more.
Then, fine-tune your line-dancing moves at VFW Post No. 665, 1824 Victory Drive, Saturday night. The friendly crowd is a welcome departure from the usual weekend meet market. You'll be able to sip your Coors Light in peace without worrying about cheesy pickup lines.
Wrap up the weekend by watching the Academy of Country Music Awards, 8 p.m. Sunday on CBS. It's time to remember that the current country music landscape isn't confined to Kid Rock and Bon Jovi. Yeah, there's also Miley Cyrus.