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Don’t talk to me about how you’re all depressed following the cessation of your July Fourth three-day weekend. It’s not my fault you’re in a dead-end job.
And it’s not my fault that this weekend will be mundane and tiresome, though you may have a chance of enjoyment if you follow these rules:
Rule 1: Go to the Columbus Wood Bats game at 7 p.m. Friday at Golden Park, where they face the poorly equipped Florida Legends. If you want the $1 beer, don’t be late. I make several return trips.
Rule 2: Head over to The Loft on Broadway after the game for more drinks and regular performers Peggy Jenkins and the Bizness. Bring $5 for cover.
Rule 3: Market Days on Broadway won’t be around forever, so take advantage of the locally grown goods from 9 a.m. to noon on Saturday. There’s also flowers, fresh-baked food and handcrafted items which would no doubt make Martha Stewart proud.
Wanna be on top?
Perform well this weekend and you'll be one step closer to massaging Tyra Banks' ego. That's right: An "America's Next Top Model" casting call comes to town Saturday. It's at Game Link, 6361 Talokas Lane. Participants must be 18-27 and at least 5-foot-7. Bring three photos, as well as a completed application.
Don't meet the height requirement? Too embarrassed to publicly grace a runway? Ditch your Vogue-obsessed friends and spend Saturday night at SoHo Bar & Grill, 5751 Milgen Road. The bar celebrates its seventh anniversary with entertainment from The Fifth and Suburban Camouflage. Cover is $5.
If you're intimidated by the lingerie-clad walls, opt for an equally intriguing Saturday night party option: Java Monkey at Belloo's, 900 Front Ave. The party band performs at the cigar and martini bar beginning at 9 p.m. Cover is $5, or free for ladies in black dresses.