The Teen Choice Awards 2010 aired Monday on Fox, but didn't contain a buzzworthy moment like Miley Cyrus' pole dance from last year.
In fact, no surprises surrounded the winners, since spoilers circulated after the show was taped Sunday. The "Twilight" films and "The Vampire Diaries" nabbed lots of honors.
For better or worse, "Taylor Hotner" was trending on Twitter immediately after the show. If you don't know that's a reference to Taylor Lautner from "Twilight," consider yourself clueless. Or blessed.
See a list of winners here.
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Fortunately, we live-blogged the show, even though it wasn't really live. Here's a recap:
8 p.m. The show opens with host Katy Perry singing "Teenage Dream." Ouch. This is a little rough. She's surrounded by a giant heart and backup dancers dressed in cheerleader costumes.
8:05 Katy Perry welcomes us to her teenage dream come true, the Teen Choice Awards.
8:06 Ellen DeGeneres is in the house! Among her words of wisdom? "Don't pierce that. It hurts more than you'll ever, ever know." She presents Choice TV Actress Comedy to Selena Gomez, who looks awesome and tells us Lea Michele deserves this award. Selena Gomez wears a long-sleeved white dress that's short, but age-appropriate. Two thumbs up.
8:10 Ken Jeong appears as his vampire alter ego, Daro, from "Vampires Suck."
8:11 First reference to Bieber Fever. Crowd goes wild.
8:12 Channing Tatum wins Choice Movie Actor Action Adventure for his role in "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra."
8:18 Katy Perry is back on stage, joined by her co-hosts -- the guys from "Glee." Did Katy Perry really not go to high school? Kind of true. She took her GED after her freshman year of high school, according to Wikipedia.
8:21 The Kardashian sisters are on stage, joined by "Cougar Kardashian," aka George Lopez. Awards for Choice TV Drama Actor and Actress go to "Gossip Girl" stars Chace Crawford and Leighton Meester. They also accept for Choice TV Drama.
8:26 The crew from "Pretty Little Liars," the Teen Choice summer TV show, get some air time. They introduce a performance by Jason Derulo. I see you all over me in my head, Jason.
8:36 Katy Perry is dressed as a cheerleader. She does the splits. Move along.
8:37 David Archuleta and John Cena present Choice Hottie awards to Taylor Lautner and Megan Fox. Screaming ensues.
8:40 Zac Efron is in the house! He presents Choice Movie Actress Drama to Sandra Bullock for "The Blind Side." She accepts a variety of awards, including one for her dance sequence with Betty White. And with that, Betty White is on stage busting a move to "Get Low."
8:45 Quick performance by the crew from "Step Up 3D." It's an excuse to listen to Flo Rida's "Club Can't Handle Me," so I can't complain.
8:52 "The Vampire Diaries" wins a bunch of awards. Insert cheesy "show that doesn't suck" joke here.
8:54 Ken Jeong is back on stage, introducing Hilary Duff and LL Cool J. Lizzie McGuire -- er, Hilary Duff -- looks awesome. Choice TV comedy goes to "Glee." Do you guys agree with this article's suggestion that Lea Michele has gotten too skinny?
8:58 Time to get my Justin Bieber fix. He won 4 TCAs. Too bad he's in Phoenix, not actually on the TCA stage. Whatever. Seconds into his performance of "U Smile," I'm swooning. Get song lyrics here.
9:06 Katy Perry is dressed as a prom queen. The "Secret Life" kids introduce the Choice Smile award. Yes, that is a real category. Taylor Lautner wins.
9:09 Joshua Jackson and Lea Michele present Choice TV Animated Show to "Family Guy."
9:17 Travie McCoy and Bruno Mars sing "Billionaire." I think this song needs to permanently disappear after Labor Day, much like white apparel. Remember when Travie McCoy and Katy Perry used to date? Also, I just learned that Travie McCoy is the godfather of Ashlee Simpson's son. Thanks, Wikipedia!
9:22 After quickly going through a bunch of other awards, it's time for Choice Movie Actor Drama. Winner is Robert Pattinson for "Remember Me." We can also call this award Choice Robert Pattinson Movie That Isn't "Twilight."
9:30 Katy Perry is dressed as a nerd.
9:31 We learn Fox is starting a new fan-voted country music awards show, the American Country Awards. Taylor Swift wins Choice Female Country Artist and a bunch of other awards. She accepts the awards in a video message. She's in Japan. Did she just give a shout-out to Taylor Lautner? I think so.
9:33 Ken Jeong is back on stage.
9:35 Choice Male Athlete goes to David Beckham, who accepts the award with his sons. Aww.
9:42 Katy Perry, dressed as a hippie, introduces Cat Deeley and Twitch Boss from "SYTYCD." Watch the finale! I'm doing live updates!
9:43 Choice Music Single goes to Katy Perry's "California Gurls."
9:45 Diddy-Dirty Money performs "Hello Good Morning." I love the on-screen warning about the special effects. It's one of the only tolerable things about this song.
9:55 Choice Movie Actor Fantasy is Taylor Lautner.
9:57 Katy Perry, dressed in goth, presents a special award to the cast of the "Twilight" films. The award is basically for complete domination of the teen universe.
10:00 We're done!