Smile-breaking, vampire-staking, cookie-baking, laugh-faking, atom-oscillating, briiiiiiiiidezillas
Before we get this party started, know this: It will always be this hot. Forever. Get used to it.
Moving on. What’s happening this weekend? Let’s start with the obvious:
Retro party at the Columbus Museum: When was the last time you paid too much money to get dressed up in uncomfortable clothes and drink expensive beverages? I know, it’s been too long. So why not check out the Columbus Museum, which is allegedly always changing, always free, from 8 p.m. to midnight on Friday for the Blast from the Past party? Bring $25 to get in and a Mad Men outfit to look hot. Look for the action at 1251 Wynnton Road.
Music at The Loft: Maybe the Junior League will be there, maybe it’s just a band called the Junior League. I’m not taking any chances, so I’ll be there Saturday night with my $5 at 9 p.m. Watch out for lurking husbands when you try to buy one of their wives a drink.
Ultimate Bridal Expo: Desperately need a mimosa yet you fear the city’s mimosa patrol? Don’t worry. You can (probably) drink safely this Sunday at the Ultimate Bridal Expo, at the RiverMill Event Center, conveniently situated in Bibb City. Check it out from 1-5 p.m. Bring $5 to get in.
Down with the PMT and HC
It's time for me to suffer some massive depression about the end of the "So You Think You Can Dance" season. Fortunately, I'll cure some of my sadness by hitting the town this weekend.
Ready for a party? Try some of these options:
The Relics at the Shanty Shack: The local party band performs 7-11 p.m. Friday and Saturday. Cover is $5. The bar is at 4475 Warm Springs Road. 706-507-3418.
SamRoc & GRD at Spicoli's: The local act specializes in Southern rap and hip-hop. You'll hear some mad rhymes about hunting, fishing, camouflage and more. The bar's at 5762 Milgen Road. Cover is $5 and show starts at 9 p.m. 706-221-5252.
Bowling at Players: The hot spot hosts Players Club Bowling 8-11 p.m. every Saturday on its scaled-down bowling lanes. It's $3 per game, no special shoes required. The 18-and-older hot spot is at 1500 54th Street in Columbus. 706-653-0106.