If you want VIP status at tonight’s 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, repeat these principles after me:
No. 1: If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it.
No. 2: Bubble wrap is an acceptable form of daytime fashion.
Got it? Congratulations, you’re now eligible for induction in the Beyonce/Lady Gaga universe.
With nine nominations apiece, the divas lead the pack of nominees for the MTV awards show, which airs tonight.
Relative newcomer Lady Gaga, known for her eclectic wardrobe and unpredictable stage presence, suggested in Newsweek magazine that her performance tonight will “inspire a movement.”
But wait.
Beyonce, who also performs tonight, is hardly an underdog.
Her most recent disc — part of which was devoted to her alter ego, Sasha Fierce — bolstered the singer’s already strong circle of fans. Not to mention the YouTube dance craze inspired by her single, “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It).”
So who has the edge? Here’s how the two singers compare:
SHOWMANSHIP
Beyonce, with her high-energy choreography and “huh?”-inspiring metal robot glove, certainly keeps fans entertained.
Yet the advantage has to go to Lady Gaga, whose recent guest appearance on “American Idol” included fog, a piano and a violin. Oh yeah, she also wore a zipper across one of her eyelids.
Winner: Lady Gaga
LYRICS
Neither diva falls into the “woe is me” trap of female lyrics. Memorize Beyonce’s songs and you’ll tell your most recent fling he wasn’t so irreplaceable after all.
Lady Gaga, meanwhile, makes it easy to believe any life crisis can be solved with two words: “Just Dance.”
Winner: Beyonce, only because understanding Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face” seems more complicated than diagramming a sentence.
WARDROBE
Well, they’re both out to get noticed.
With the exception of her solid black leotard for “Single Ladies,” Beyonce is more of a high couture, plunging neckline kind of girl.
Then, there’s glitter-clad Lady Gaga, who operates under a 24-7 leotard freedom policy.
Winner: Beyonce — you know, just in case there’s a dinner with Mom and Dad involved.
SHOCK VALUE
Yeah, Beyonce had that whole secret wedding thing.
But Lady Gaga gives us cryptic interviews! Ambiguous sexuality! Jackets made of Kermit the Frog dolls! No contest here.
Winner: Lady Gaga
VERSATILITY
Unlike Beyonce, Lady Gaga has yet to enter the world of film. She’s released one studio album, as opposed to Beyonce’s three solo studio discs.
However, you have to admire her constant musical reinventions. On stage, she gives fans what they least expect, like a piano ballad take on dance hit “Poker Face.”
Winner: Lady Gaga
STAYING POWER
Die-hard fans say Lady Gaga is the next Madonna.
But there’s no denying the longevity of Beyonce’s career, which has already spanned multiple incarnations of Destiny’s Child, as well as a solo career.
Heck, her popularity even weathered a supporting role in “The Pink Panther.”
Winner: Beyonce
Sonya Sorich, feature writer, can be reached at 706-571-8516.
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