The first episode of Jersey Shore Season 2 airs at 10 p.m. July 29 on MTV. Check out the Ledger-Enquirer live blog the episode with all the respect of a gym/tan/laundry juicer:
So, the beginning of the episode is a quick series of montages that shows, in true "Jersey Shore" style, exactly what this show is about: Trash. Let's get started.
It's cold in New England in winter. Snooki suggests they go to Miami. Pauly D appears to agree, noting that women often wear few clothes in warmer climes.
Cue to Snooki, who says she found a "gorilla juicehead." She loves him, obviously, but as she says, if you give her some Southern Comfort, she'll go crazy. She quickly grows political, noting that President Barack Obama singled her out with the 10 percent tax on tanning.
Again, emphasis on the point that snow falls in northern areas in North America. Also, another reference to comely women in southern states, specifically Florida, where coincidentally, the crew is headed.
Now to Sammi Sweetheart, who poignantly notes that it will be odd seeing Ronnie. He, on the other hand, says he intends to get "creepy."
The show continues to bleep out certain words, which makes it difficult to catch the nuances of the conversation.
Now to Vinny: "I want to get with a lot of pretty girls." Who would have guessed?
Time for a road trip scene. Pauly D and The Situation are driving with the desire to reach Miami before anyone else. The women feel the same, everyone seeking a choice set of rooms in the home.
The men seem to use braggadocio as a method of communication. Perhaps chest thumping would be more appropriate?
Angelina has been talking to Pauly D and The Situation for quite some time on the telephone. She may have less than honorable motives in Miami.
Situation and Pauly D are stuck in the mud, at night. Pauly D has AAA, and he also has fireworks, so they pass the time in style.But then AAA gets stuck, and the dream to reach the house first looks forlorn for the pair.
Meanwhile, Snooki and JWoww reach a Savannah, Ga., bar.
Snooki: "Fried Pickles." JWoww: "Wow." Snooki: "Shots!"
Thankfully, the pickles won over Snooki and they quickly move on to shots. Unfortunately, a guy who's trying far too hard fails at hitting on the women. We here at the Ledger-Enquirer offer our deepest sorrows.
We're back, and Ronnie is smart, deciding to take a plane to Miami. Angelina says the rest of the crew doesn't know she's coming. More basic montages, which lets the viewer know that everyone is traveling to Miami and it will likely take a majority of the episode.
Pauly D and The Situation have arrived in Miami, and as promised, there are women who don't wear that many clothes.
Metropole Hotel Apartments - the site of Season 2.
Pauly D: "At least they got the hottub. We're definitely gonna make use of this."
The two men then quickly find the room best suited to their likes.
Angelina then arrives, and she's a little negative about how the others will respond.
Pauly D hears her, he comes into the kitchen and they hug. They seem to reinforce her negativity, speaking privately to the camera that while they don't despise anyone, they truly hate and loathe the creature known as Angelina.
Oh uh, we have another commerical sign!!!
The show is back, and the viewer is reminded of the awkwardness when Angelina arrives and wants to sleep in their room. She reminds the gentlemen that she's hooked up with both of them, and would be willing to repeat the action.
Now Sweetheart has arrived, and she's cursing about her. Apparently, there is some drama, though Angelina's short shorts please the men.
Sweetheart believes she can get a room and share it with two other women. She's also concerned about her future interactions with Ronnie, who she once dated.
Vinny has arrived, and he also makes a less than complimentary comment about Angelina. He fails to notice her shorts.
Ronnie has now arrived in the house. He's excited and shares the other men's aspirations for meeting women and sharing time with them. Ronnie and Sweetheart have yet to have a conversation.
We have another commercial sign!!!
We're back from the break, and Sweetheart has slowly figured out that it's foolish to live with her ex-boyfriend. Pauly D wants to know what will happen once Ronnie gets to the clubs.
Finally, JWoww and Snooki have arrived. Hugs all around, but there's obvious tension between the women and Angelina. Even Snooks holds much animosity toward Angelina.
Snooki: "I hear she's smoking crack."
Also, Snooki's upset that Angelina talked about her behind her back.
Now, Angelina and The Situation have a private conversation. Or, The Situation listens while Angelina talks constantly.
The crew gets settled into their new home, night falls and ...
The hottub is in action, and the men are requesting female company. Snooki, meanwhile, discovers that she can hear the ocean when she puts a conch up to her ear.
An accident in the closet leaves Sweetheart's clothes damaged, and the women - sans Angelina - help clean them. But not only are they angry with her, Sweetheart finds it uncomfortable with Ronnie in attendance.
Angelina then presents herself in a bikini, gets in the hottub and sits next to Ronnie.
Time passes, and the crew prepares to hit the clubs. There's some weight lifting, dress changing, mirror watching, taxi calling. Finally, they appear ready to leave the house and enter the cab.
The men are outside, and the women want to know what's going on with Ronnie and Sweetheart. Angelina then makes a non sequitor, the other women immediately jump on her and no one seems to have any alcohol whatsoever. Again, the show is bleeping out certain words, and it makes it difficult to understand.
The men, meanwhile, stay silent in another cab as they cruise toward the club.
There is now commercial sign on the horizon!!!
The crew is at a club called "Ocean's 10." The Situation has no idea what the situation is. Angelina is reality TV gold, saying she's too classy for the rest of those #*$&@'s.
Ronnie and Sweetheart begin fighting, and Ronnie may have had a few drinks. In Vino Veritas, or at least that's what Ronnie would say if he wasn't drinking Chocotinis.
So, time to get out of the club. They're back in a club, Ronnie's letting Sweetheart know she won't win this battle.
Vinny knows Ronnie's drunk, and he likely isn't the only one. Ronnie leaves the cab, and promises the group he will have a good time this evening.
Snooki wants the cab to leave, which it does. Meanwhile, Ronnie heads back to the club.
Yet another commercial sign!!!
Ronnie is now in "creep mode." The other men realize it, and Ronnie is seen associating with women his mother may not approve of. Ronnie, aka "Sloppy Joe," is with women the other guys don't care for.
Meanwhile, the other women are back at the home. Sweetheart realizes she still loves Ronnie, and may have some concerns about his actions at the club. She just wants to be with him, but knows that life on the Jersey Shore can't be a fairy tale.
The credits role and Ronnie is seen kissing random women while The Situation and Pauly D look on with what could be amusement or sadness.