The Ledger-Enquirer live blogged Jersey Shore Season 3 Episode 13, the Jersey Shore season finale, which first aired March 24, 2011. See a full recap below:
The quickest of recaps from the previous show: Sweetheart got caught talking to Arvin, a poorly named friend from back home, and Ronnie is upset.
Now, on to the finale: Ronnie confronts Sweetheart outside and asks how many times she associated with Arvin. The Situation is talking with him, and then Sweetheart gets on the phone with him. She asks why he would say such a thing. Sweetheart tells the other guys to leave the room, though Ronnie stays and listens.
Arvin claims that they made out to Sweetheart, and she tells him he's lying. Ronnie says she's been caught, and says her body language betrays her.
The Situation and Sweetheart scream at each other, and Ronnie hangs up the duck phone. Ronnie goes out to the porch, and the Sitch tells him he won't allow Sweetheart to "play" Ronnie.
The rest of the crew is preparing dinner. It promises to be awkward. Pauly D says he's bringing three friends. Everyone can, he adds.
Ronnie goes outside and Sweetheart joins him. Ronnie says he's embarassed, that he's been "played." He wants to know the truth. There's a small amount of silence, and Sweetheart says she associated with Arvin when she was 21. She's now almost 24. Ronnie says she can correct her errors or she can walk away from the relationship.
Sweetheart says nothing and Ronnie walks away.
Obey the commercial sign!!!
Snooki, Vinny and Ronnie have their last day at the T-shirt shop. Ronnie wears a shirt that's offensive to their "boss," and the "boss" rips it off, a la Hulk Hogan style. Ronnie says he's decided to sleep the whole day at the store and not work. The "boss" pours water on a sleeping Ronnie, and their grueling four-hour shift is over.
The crew gets ready for a big barbecue tonight. It's a pot luck! Everyone goes to the venue, grabs some drinks and welcomes Pauly D's friends from home. JWoww's father shows up. Danielle, Snooki's promiscuous friend, arrives. Roger shows up. Roger and JWoww's dad interact.
Pauly D is DJ'ing, and the crew is dancing with random older men. Deena makes all sorts of new friends. Snooki then grabs a murder weapon and starts attacking a pinata. JWoww is next, and she finally destroys the vicious paper-mache device.
Vinny meets a nice woman, though Deena gets in the way and starst a situation, lowercase, by telling both of them that Snooki likes Vinny. Snooks tells Deena that she's not married to Vinny, and that she'll get over it. Deena then tells the woman that Vinny associated with a less than attractive woman the previous night. Vinny grows angry.
Vinny tells Deena that she's interfering with his association with his new female friend. Meanwhile, Sweetheart tells Ronnie that she doesn't like the Situation and that if Ronnie is friends with him, then they can't be together. Ronnie questions why he should dislike the man who called Arvin, when Arvin revealed Sweetheart's shadowy nature?
Back at the house: Deena asks Pauly D why Vinny is angered with Deena. Vinny says he's not mad, Deena just let him down. Deena says she's only nice, but Vinny denies. He then brings up the "A" word: Angelina.
Pauly D leaves the conversation, and Vinny tells the camera that if Angelina wasn't having a good time, no one was having a good time. Deena was doing the same thing, Vinny said.
Deena leaves the room then returns in anger when a guest suggests that Vinny is correct. She denies, denies, denies what he says are her motivations, and she says she was looking out for Snooki.
The finale is almost half over!!!
The next morning: The crew slowly awakes. The Situation apologizes to Sweetheart with Ronnie in the room. Sweetheart appears to accept his apology, though she tells the camera that she doesn't believe she can trust him.
The day grows, and the various friends from last night leave. The crew is going to an Italian place for food. They're looking at the menu, there's some seemingly odd silence, Deena is strangely quiet. Pauly D comes out and says to her: if you find the old Deena, tell her we want to see her.
Deena thanks the crew for a great summer, and for welcoming her with open arms. They leave after the meal, and realize they've got to prepare for the night out in 20 minutes.
The crew leaves in a cab for the last time this season. The club is quite packed. They're wonderful people living fabulous lives.
JWoww is talking with Roger outside about the status of their relationship. JWoww tells the camera that she wasn't expecting the serious talk, but she agrees to be his steady sweety.
JWoww then tells Snookers that they're exclusive, and the drinks then begin in earnest.
Drama after this commercial sign!!!
Deena is, surprisingly, drunk. Snooki falls and has to have a guy friend bandage her. She returns to the hous with her male friend. Snooki makes him a grilled cheese as he complains the entire time. They retire to the common bedroom, though the rest of the crew remains at Karma. Sweetheart talks with her male friends, and Ronnie is upset.
Sweetheart tries to get his attention, but he's angry and doesn't want to be with her now. JWoww says she's going to walk home, and the crew begins the walk. Pauly D carries Deena for as long as he can. Ronnie and Sweetheart fight on the walk back, leading Ronnie to walk ahead of her as they approach the house.
Sweetheart makes it back to the house. Roger calls in sick, and JWoww shouts drunkenly into the phone that it's her fault. Ronnie goes to bed and tells Sweetheart that he's sleeping without her.
Ronnie and Sweetheart start arguing in their bathroom. Ronnie says he's done with her, noting that she's stubborn. He asks what she's done for him. She tells him she hates him and wants him to leave. Ronnie walks back downstairs in tears and the Sitch takes him out to the porch.
More meaningless sadness after this commercial sign!!!
Deena tells Sweetheart to lay down, saying she'll make her something. Deena gets out the grilled cheese ingredients, though it doesn't appear Sweetheart gets any food.
The morning comes: Sweetheart doesn't want to leave her bed. Roger tells JWoww he needs to leave. The crew laughs as one of JWoww's dogs does his business on the floor.
Ronnie is packing up his items as Sweetheart looks on. He says he's still angry about the fight they had. She apologizes for her actions and tells him she loves him. Ronnie says she never shows him that she loves him, she only tells him. Ronnie says his heart is broken. Sweetheart stays cool, and asks him if he wants to be single. Ronnie does.
This is the last commercial sign ever!!!
The goodbyes slowly begin. The crew begins packing, and Snooki gives her signature "Waaa!" Ronnie and Sweetheart are not speaking. She leaves the home and pulls her suitcase across the street. Snooki says she'd prefer Ronnie to return instead of Sweetheart, if she had to choose.
Ronnie is sad that he broke his rule of never falling in love at the Jersey Shore. Such is reality TV life.
Snooki hugs Vinny, and points out that they're just friends, not in a relationship. Vinny drives away.
The Situation gives his goodbyes and gets in his car. JWoww tells the camera that she left a horrible boyfriend and found someone new. Snookers cries as she hugs JWoww.
Pauly D hugs Deena as they say goodbye. He hates ending things, noting that there's unfinished drama. He gets in his car and leaves.
Deena and Snooki then force their luggage into the car, she announces her presidential platform and they leave.
Bad music plays as the girls drive away from the shore. The viewer is treated to the wretched geography of Seaside and the tepid, meaningless shells of each and every human replica moving on its rocky surface.
See you next season!!!