Taylor Swift won the artist of the year honor at Sunday's American Music Awards, a show that was predictably dominated by live performances.
We didn't get too many surprises, unless you count some blatant product placement courtesy of Jennifer Lopez. Or an unsettling appearance by David Hasselhoff.
Here's a full recap of the show, which also included winners like Lady Antebellum, Nicki Minaj and Bruno Mars. Click here for a full list of winners.
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Nicki Minaj opens the show with a metallic, robot-themed performance. She starts with "Turn Me On" with David Guetta, then goes into "Super Bass."
8:08 - Favorite Pop/Rock Duo/Band/Group is Maroon 5.
8:15 - Favorite Country Female Artist is Taylor Swift...or, um, something like T-Swizzle, according to presenters Hot Chelle Rae.
8:16 - Sean Kingston is in the house! I'm so glad he's OK. Apparently, the next performer was incredibly kind when Sean Kingston was in the hospital after his jet ski accident. Who could possibly have such a saintly, altruistic soul? Justin Bieber, of course!
8:17 - Justin Bieber performs "Mistletoe." Thanks for making me break my "no Christmas music until after Thanksgiving" vow, Bieber. Why didn't you just stick with "Baby"? OK, my bad. Sorry...I temporarily forgot about this stuff.
8:20 - The Band Perry sings "If I Die Young." I would have preferred a different song from this act, too. Weigh in: Do you still like this tune? Did you ever like this tune?
8:29 - Time for a Chris Brown performance. This is apparently the "main event," according to 50 Cent, who introduces the performance. If that's true...I'm seriously worried about the remaining two and a half hours.
8:30 - Chris Brown sings "All Back," a ballad, and then goes into "Say It With Me." What do you think? Did the dance moves impress you?
8:33 - Wow, Jennifer Hudson is really thin.
8:34 - Favorite Rap/Hip-Hop Artist is Nicki Minaj. Is anyone else a little surprised/disappointed that Nicki Minaj actually looks kind of normal tonight?
8:37 - Kelly Clarkson sings "Mr. Know It All." Newsboys and images of newspapers in the background remind us this tune is a message to The Media. Except me, naturally. Anyway, this is probably my favorite performance so far. I like how she adds a jazzy edge to it.
8:46 - Favorite Soul/R&B Album goes to Rihanna for "Loud." She couldn't attend the ceremony, but she gives a pre-recorded message.
8:47 - Enrique Iglesias is singing with...a high school choir? He performs "I Like How It Feels." Then, he goes into "Tonight." Well hello, Ludacris. Thank you for participating in this performance. This tune made the whole high school choir thing a little awkward.
8:59 - Jennifer Lopez performs "Papi," then "On The Floor." For a big part of the performance, there is a Fiat on stage. Yes, really. Sorry, but between the (nearly nonexistent) getup and the blatant product placement, this is a bit much. And no, Pitbull, you're not going to make me change my mind.
9:06 - Favorite Country Duo/Band/Group is Lady Antebellum.
9:06 - During the commercial break, we see -- get ready -- the Fiat commercial featuring Jennifer Lopez. No, not a repeat of her AMA performance. The real commercial. Imagine that!
9:13 - Wow, Adam Lambert is in the house! It's been two years since his last AMA appearance. Gee, I wonder why things seem so awkward right now. Oh yeah, this might explain it:
9:14 - OneRepublic performs "Good Life." The vocals sound really bad. Sorry, but I have nothing else to say.
9:18 - Favorite Rap/Hip-Hop Album goes to Nicki Minaj for "Pink Friday."
9:21 - You know what this show needs? More Pitbull. He takes the stage with Lil Jon and Marc Anthony. First we get "Give Me Everything," then "Rain Over Me," also known as my favorite track in my weekly Zumba class. TOO MANY PEOPLE ARE WEARING SUNGLASSES INDOORS RIGHT NOW. I'm talking to you, Marc and Pitbull. The big joke on Twitter right now? Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez are sharing custody of Pitbull.
9:25 - I'm really happy to hear Vanilla Ice say "word to your mother" in a montage of previous AMA ceremonies.
9:31 - Heidi Klum says she and her family are "huge fans of" the next performer. Who's taking the stage? Katy Perry. Do you think Seal really listens to Katy Perry?
9:32 - Katy Perry takes the stage with a guitar and sings "The One That Got Away." If there's a deep message about outer space in this song, I don't get it. Katy's getup is attracting parallels to Judy Jetson. Anyone else a little surprised she got a standing ovation?
9:36 - Katy Perry gets a special award for being the first woman in the history of pop music to have five No. 1 singles from one album.
9:38 - Sprint New Artist of the Year is Hot Chelle Rae.
9:46 - Favorite Latin Music Artist is Jennifer Lopez. Once again, she is not wearing much clothing. No mention of Marc Anthony in the acceptance speech.
9:49 - Alanis Morissette is in the house!
9:50 - Mary J. Blige sings "Mr. Wrong." Awesome. She gives a special memorial shout-out to Heavy D.
9:54 - Favorite Soul/R&B Female Artist is Beyonce. She gives a pre-recorded acceptance speech.
10:01 - Maroon 5 and Christina Aguilera perform "Moves Like Jagger." Oh, Christina. Too. Much. Cleavage. Yes, really. And that dress is a bit too tight. I'll be kind and leave it at that. After Christina leaves the stage, Adam Levine joins Gym Class Heroes to sing "Stereo Hearts."
10:16 - Drake performs "Headlines." OK, I'm a little bored now.
10:20 - Favorite Pop/Rock Male Artist is Bruno Mars.
10:27 - Daughtry performance! Woo hoo! I've missed these guys. They perform "Crawling Back To You." Hmm. This song might have to grow on me.
10:32 - Favorite Country Album goes to Taylor Swift for "Speak Now."
10:39 - We can't avoid it any longer. It's time for a will.i.am performance. If that prospect alone doesn't excite you, he's on stage with Jennifer Lopez. They perform "T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever)." A version of Mick Jagger is also involved. I will hate this song publicly but secretly dance to it in my car. That's just how I roll.
10:43 - Favorite Pop/Rock Album goes to Adele. She's not at the ceremony.
10:49 - Artist of the Year is Taylor Swift. "I did not think this was going to happen," she says.
10:52 - Time for the big finale performance from LMFAO. The performance is sponsored by Old Navy. Yes, really. LMFAO sings "Party Rock Anthem." And now...Justin Bieber is dancing with them. In tight animal print pants. Time for "I'm Sexy and I Know It." People are wearing short shorts...and David Hasselhoff is gyrating on stage.
11:00 - With that pleasant image stuck in my mind, the show ends. What did you think?