We're not Joan Rivers, but we're close. Maybe even better. Read our fashion commentary from the 2012 Golden Globes and let us know if you agree with our picks.
As far as fashion trends go, many stars boldly flaunted bright red lipstick at Sunday's ceremony. Blues, greens and reds seemed to reign supreme, with a good share of silver and champagne-colored gowns thrown into the mix as well. With a few exceptions, it seems like we're moving away from the purple trend that dominated red carpets in previous years.
Our Golden Globes photo gallery includes snapshots of many of the stars mentioned in this article.
While neither of my (male) viewing partners agreed, I thought Kate Winslet looked stunning in her black and white Jenny Packham ensemble. It was simple and classy and didn't overshadow her natural beauty.
It's hard for me to admit, but I really loved Madonna's Reem Acra dress as well. It was fun and big and rock and roll with a bit of an '80s feel to it.
Although Sandra disagrees, Michelle Williams' dress was really cute and very her. She never deviates far from her signature look and the simple form of the blue sparkly dress combined with the headband suited her perfectly. And I'm really glad she won for "My Week with Marilyn."
Missi Pyle is one of those "I know her face from somewhere..." actresses. I know I've seen her before, but don't ask me to name a single movie or TV show she's appeared in. But I loved her strapless gold number. It was bright and fun and looked great with her yellow hair and red lips.
Evan Rachel Wood is always a knockout, but her peacock-meets-mermaid (which described as such sounds horrible) metallic Gucci dress was absolutely stunning. Plunging necklines seemed to be the name of the game at the awards show and she rocked it. Dramatic and daring.
Honorable mentions: I loved Charlize Theron's sparkly headband. I also love the color of Sophia Vargara's dress, but that's about it. The back of Claire Danes' dress was stunning, the front not so much. —Katie McCarthy
Stacy Keibler gets best-dressed points simply because she had the best accessory EVER...George Clooney. Sorry, I couldn't resist. Her red dress was awesome, too.
Nicole Kidman's metallic dress was pretty close to perfection. I loved the beaded accents, and the delicate halter cut completed the look. Jessica Alba rocked a similar style, sans halter, and I loved it just as much.
Nicole Richie really caught my attention with her beaded silver gown. Frankly, I'm always just happy that Nicole got healthy and no longer looks like she's starving.-- Sonya Sorich
Tina Fey looks amazing. The dress is gorgeous.
Rooney Mara's cut-out Nina Ricci dress is really great on her.
We always expect Tilda Swinton to wear something bizarre, but not tonight. She's in a Haider Ackermann suit. Except for her hair, she looks really good.
Ariel Winter of "Modern Family" is 13 and is dressed age-appropriately. Very.
Freida Pinto looks beautiful in a very simple Prada gown.
I'm sure people will hate Sarah Michelle Geller's blue-and-white Monique Lhuillier dress, but I think it's pretty.
Last year, a very pregnant Natalie Portman was one of the best dressed women. She is again this year in hot pink Lanvin.-- Sandra Okamoto
Sofia Vergara: I want to be adopted by Sofia Vergara's family. This spicy mom of "Modern Family" wowed in this stunning blue, off the shoulder number that hugged her skin and coiled to the floor. She evoked images of a mermaid swimming through a red carpet filled with fish who couldn't keep up. Pull us under, Sofia, we're ready to drown.
Angelina Jolie: Love her or love her, Angelina Jolie never fails to make a statement whether it's through her humanitarian efforts overseas or on the silver screen. Jolie strutted through the competition in a striking white dress fringed with red at the top. Is she a sultry, starship captain from the 25th century or a porcelain goddess sent from Athena to teach her lessers a fashion lesson? Why not both?
Shailene Woodley: If I were a diary, I would want Shailene Woodley to write in me. Woodley's dress was simple, elegant and everything fashion should be. The white dress accented her bare shoulders, making me wonder if she's hiding angel's wings just out of camera's sight. Hint: Yes, she is.-- Alan Riquelmy
Sarah Michelle Gellar's Monique Lhuillier gown was like a work of art. It reminded me an Impressionist painting but the strapless neckline and draping of the gown gave it a fresh, youthful feel that I loved on the "Ringer" star.
Helen Mirren looks like fashion royalty in her gorgeous navy blue Badgley Mischka gown with a dramatic embellished skirt.
Paula Patton's yellow Monique Lhuillier gown was a bright spot in a mostly dull Red Carpet full of cream, nude and champagne colored dresses. Apparently beige is the new black. --Dawn Minty
I'm usually a fan of Zac Posen gowns (the lavender number Christina Hendricks wore to the 2010 Emmys will always be a favorite!), but Elle Macpherson's dress was just all kinds of wrong. It looked like someone ripped off the straps on top, then ripped away the bottom and front to make room for that awful tulle duster.
And I agree with Sandra's assessment of Jessica Biel's Giambattista Valli frock — she looks like she belongs on Little House on the Prairie. That's not in and of itself a bad thing, but there's a time and a place and the red carpet is not one of them.
Kelly Osbourne is supposed to be some fashion maven nowadays right? Another Zac Posen dress that just didn't work, Kelly wore a boxy, peacock blue number that was ill-fitting. It might look OK without the sleeves, but as is, it's a definite fashion don't.
Dishonorable mention: I still can't figure out Angelina Jolie's outfit. First I only saw the top and hated it. Then when I saw her full-length I thought it looked better. But the more I look at it the less certain I am. The colors are so sharp and dramatic — white gown, white skin, dark hair, bright red accent — she looks like an ice queen. A little bit of subtlety somewhere in the mix may have done her some good. —Katie McCarthy
Lea Michele's gown resembled the "Black Swan" version of what Britney Spears wore in her "Toxic" music video. No thanks.
Natalie Portman: Sorry, Sandra, I disagree with your decision to put this actress on your best-dressed list. I would have loved her gown -- had it not been for the random cluster of excess fabric at her waist. I'm not impressed.
Charlize Theron: Between the sparkly headband, plunging neckline, fabric cluster and long train, she just had too much going on. And none of it seemed to work.-- Sonya Sorich
Best dressed? Paula Patton. Worst dressed? Piper Perabo.
Helen Mirren had worn some really strange outfits, but the past few years, she's been beautifully dressed. Tonight is not one of them.
Salma Hayak, as always is gorgeous, but the dress ... very blingy and I'm not so sure of that art deco type top.
Jessica Biel just gave Piper Perabo a run for worst dressed. She's in a granny-type dress by Giambattista Valli.
Meryl Streep is Meryl Streep. Dressing like a woman her age. A frumpy woman her age.
Michelle Williams is another who is usually dressed nicely, but not tonight. I just didn't like the print. Jason Wu is the designer. I don't like the headband either.-- Sandra Okamoto
Sarah Michelle Gellar: Buffy has bad taste in men and fashion. Someone needs to call Woodstock and tell them Gellar stole its dirty laundry. Maybe she thought that a tie-dyed, dumpy frock would scare the vampires away. She was right, but it also scared away any directors with potential job offers. Call the Mystery Machine, I've just found who's underneath the paper-mache mask.
Claire Danes: When did chess pieces become high fashion? Claire Danes resembles a sad bishop who got lost in the red queen's garden. Off with her head? Keep chopping until it's all the way off. Who told Danes that a solid white top worked with a solid black bottom? Probably an agent who's now looking for a new job. They should have called this outfit my so-called dress.
Zooey Deschanel: Bad dress, bad hair, bad name. Just because you play a quirky girl who wears dumb clothes doesn't mean you should actually wear dumb clothes. Deschanel's one-piece makes me think her torso is in the midst of disintegrating. If only it were. Call the fashion ambulance, we've got a Code Awful. -- Alan Riquelmy
We get it, Lea Michele. You are nothing like Gleeky Rachel. Rachel likes to dress like a little girl and you like to dress like a circus performer. This Marchesa dress was a costume. Please, just dress like the beautiful starlet you are and skip the costumes.
Perhaps Julianna Margulies wanted to show the bad side of the "Good Wife" but her long-sleeved purple Naeem Khan dress was cringe-inducing. The form-fitting dress and sleek ponytail looked severe instead of edgy. --Dawn Minty