Sorry, I don't get it.
I'm still wondering how Zoanette Johnson could botch the national anthem, mumble incoherently about an invitation to the White House and still get four "yes" votes for Hollywood.
Watch the video and tell me if you agree.
Zoanette Johnson, Auditions Oklahoma ~ American... by HumanSlinky
Zoanette was among the handful of hopefuls we saw on Thursday's episode of "American Idol," which featured auditions in Oklahoma City. The 60-minute episode was entertaining, but the talent was nowhere near what we saw Wednesday.
The other most memorable audition? Kayden Stephenson, 16, who has cystic fibrosis. His life expectancy is 35 years. He unanimously advanced to Hollywood after performing a Stevie Wonder song.
Here's a full recap of Thursday's show.
Karl Skinner, 26, was discovered during the show's small-town bus tour. He's from Joplin, Mo., and he's really in love with his wife. "She makes waking up worth it," he says. He approaches the judges and sings a too-enthusiastic version of "I Feel Good." Then, he picks up his guitar and performs a much more intriguing original song. "You could be an Idol mascot, dude. I like you," Randy says. He unanimously advances to Hollywood.
Quick montage of bad singers.
Nate Tao, 24, is a sign language teacher. Both his parents are deaf. Consider him an updated version of Jim Verraros. He performs a good rendition of "For Once In My Life." The judges like him. He unanimously advances to Hollywood.
Halie Hilburn is a ventriloquist who approaches the judges with a puppet named Oscar. While holding Oscar, she sings "I Want to be Your Cowboy Sweetheart." Then, per the judges' request, we get a song without Oscar. Her voice is good, but her personality is a bit much. She could get really annoying really quickly. Keith says, "I think Oscar's holding you back." Still, Keith, Mariah and Nicki say "yes" for Hollywood. Randy says "no," but it doesn't matter. After her audition, we get a shot of Oscar in a dumpster. Totally fake.
Zoanette Johnson, 19, approaches the judges while flaunting a super short skirt and a neon yellow shirt. She performs an over-the-top version of the national anthem. It's in honor of Obama's presidency. Some parts of her performance are OK...but it's so dramatic and over-the-top that I just can't take it seriously. The judges love it. "I am obsessed with you," Nicki says. Zoanette responds, "Me too." Then, she makes some incoherent comments about how Obama better invite her to the White House. Believe it or not, she unanimously advances. Yes, really.
Anastacia Freeman botches her performance of "Unbreak My Heart" and is unanimously rejected. She gets angry and later tells the camera she heard Nicki Minaj worships the devil.
Kayden Stephenson, 16, has cystic fibrosis, a terminal illness. "Basically I don't have as long to live as other people," he says. His life expectancy is 35 years. He performs a nice version of Stevie Wonder's "I Wish" and unanimously advances to Hollywood. Good. I would have cried if that didn't work out.
Some 45 singers in Oklahoma City advanced to Hollywood, Seacrest says. The show finishes with a cameo by Steven Tyler. In drag.
Next week, we go to Hollywood!