This weekend, you have a rare opportunity for professional development.
That is, assuming your professional aspirations include visions of Miley Cyrus.
I'll quit the witty banter and cut to the chase: You, too, can learn how to twerk.
The opportunity comes courtesy of a "Twerkshop" held 4-5:30 p.m. Saturday at Infinity After Dark, a pole dance fitness studio at 2501 Old Whittlesey Road in Columbus. Cost is $20. Click here for additional registration information.
The Twerkshop offers this course description: "Come learn how to twerk it like the pros do!! Miley might have tried it, but we've perfected it!"
Wardrobe recommendations are provided. Guests are advised to wear "shorts, booty shorts if desired, comfortable heels, or bare feet; tank top or a comfortable shirt."
Maybe you're tired of hearing about twerking. Amid a deluge of pop culture references -- many of which involve Miley Cyrus -- "twerk" has even weaseled its way into the Oxford Dictionaries Online, according to an ABC News report .
I visited the online dictionary and found this definition: "dance to popular music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low, squatting stance."
Sounds about right.
Isn't it time for twerking fatigue? Maybe not. A YouTube video titled "How to Twerk" has garnered over 15 million views. The public fascination still seems strong, and instructors are happy to meet the demand.
Arguably, twerking is good and good for you, too.
In an attempt to avoid the treadmill, I Googled "calories burned twerking."
The first result was a Healthline article that offers this estimate: "Constantly twerking for an hour, should you choose to do so, will burn somewhere between 300 and 480 calories in an hour, about the same as 60 minutes of power yoga or an hour of moderate jogging."
Seriously, who constantly twerks for an hour?
Then again, it's been more than a decade since I last visited a high school dance.
I doubt the twerking trend would have fared well at my Catholic high school, where chaperones scoured the dance floor with flashlights urging close-dancing teens to leave room for the Holy Spirit.
So I'm not surprised to read reports that a California mom punished her preteen daughter by making her publicly flaunt a sign displaying this message: "I was disrespecting my parents by twerking at a school dance."
Fortunately, I'm well into adulthood -- a life phase that gives me the freedom to twerk as I please.
Just stage an intervention if I start calling myself "Miley."
Sonya Sorich, reporter, can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or 706-571-8516. Visit ledger-enquirer.com/sonya to read her columns.