Sunday Interview with Jeremy Hobbs: 'We've helped change people's perceptions'

Jeremy Hobbs has been an outspoken gay rights activist in Columbus for many years. As an AIDS survivor, he continues to push for more awareness in the community.

Hobbs sat down with reporter Alva James-Johnson and talked about his background and advocacy work in the community.

Here are excerpts from the interview, with the content and order of the questions edited slightly for length and clarity.

What was life like for you growing up here in Columbus?

For the first 10 years, I was the only child. My brother came along 10 years after, so I was in kind of my own little world. My mother suffered from severe depression. She had it rough when she was growing up. My grandfather lived right across the street from us. ... He was abusive with my grandmother. He was an alcoholic, and I had to hear that every night. I'd hear them screaming and yelling and everything else. We had our house right in front of them, 904 Benning Drive, in Columbus -- the only two-story house on that street. I loved it because the upstairs was Jeremy's world.

I also had to live very sheltered. In that area, growing up was rough, especially if you were a white kid. I remember seeing my cousins, who lived two doors down, running home from school, and kids chasing them from there. That's one of the reasons why I went to private school. ...

(My parents were afraid because) I was born with optic eye nerve damage. ... I had to go to Emory, once every month. And they patched my right eye, my good eye ... to try to build up any strength they could in the left eye. ... I'm still, today, legally blind in my left eye.

What did your parents both do for a living?

My dad was self-employed. He was an electrician for Hobbs Electrical Contractors, here in Columbus. He did pretty well for the '80s.

What did your mother do?

(My mother) was a homemaker. ...

(She) put me in a lot of counseling growing up. I think that's what really helped me in the counseling field, as far as helping others and everything else, because, God, I went to them since I was 8 years old. I think (my parents) knew Jeremy was different.

How and when did you discover that you were gay?

I didn't even know what it was ... I knew that in articles -- or my mom's little Ledger-Enquirer, or her magazines, or whatever she had -- I always focused more on the guys. I thought maybe it was just because of, "They look good. I want to look like that, maybe." ...

It wasn't until I was 14 and went on a camping trip ... and, well, quickly discovered what I was. ... They put me in a tent with this guy -- he was 16, or whatever -- and he approached me with it. And I was filled with fear. ... I thought it was a trick. I was like, "No, no, no." I rejected it. ... Then my best friend that I went to school with, he came on to me. And I ran home that night. ... But that's all I could think about when I got back.

Finally, at 16... (my father) told me he wasn't going to have a "faggot" for a son. He said, "Either you can be straight, or get ... out."

... I said, "You know what, the hell with this." I was a man. I was leaving my home -- till I got out and realized, "Oh my God, where am I going to go?"

What happened then?

You're on the streets a lot for a period of time trying to find a place, going from one house to the next house, because you can only stay with high school friends for so long. ... I went to Jordan (High) at that time, and that was not the place to be gay.

But I was still Jeremy, you know. Sexuality had nothing to do with who I was. I always dated girls because that's what you're supposed to do. ...

My senior year, I met a girl. ... We started talking about getting married somewhere and I was going to (do it). ... It gets about two months before the thing, and it's just weighing on me and weighing on me because I know, "I don't want to do this. I don't want to live my life like this." ...

I said, "You know, I can't do this," and that's when I moved to Atlanta. I just had to escape Columbus.

How long did you stay in Atlanta?

Two years.

So when you came back to Columbus (in 1999) did you live as an openly gay man?

Yes ... that's what Atlanta changed for me. I finally realized, "Oh my God, I can be gay, and walk around and be gay." It was a whole different world.

When were you diagnosed with AIDS?

April 13, 2003. I was with one of my partners (whom) I was with for over 10 years, and I started feeling really sick. ... I went into a Subway restaurant. I'm standing in line. It's a Friday night, and all of a sudden I just get this feeling -- it comes over my body -- and I fall out on the floor.

... I went to the emergency room after that, and I said, "Something's not right." So they scheduled me for the HIV test.

It took three days, and then I had to go into a doctor's office here.

That was the first time a doctor ever called me and told me, "You need to come in." ... We sit down, and he says, "You have AIDS."

... I was full blown, and my doctor said I only had 6 months to live. ... It wasn't until one of my best friends here -- who has now died -- told me, "You need to go to a different doctor." I started going to Dr. Folarin Olubowale... (who) said, "Oh, no, you're going to live." That was the first time I had heard that. ... The way he said it was so simplistic, it changed my whole life.

What happened to your job?

... I had to start missing a little bit of work and they were like, "What's going on, Jeremy? What's going on?" I finally had to tell (them). ...

They basically took me from the store that I was doing very well in -- making all my goals, making all my audits, everything else -- and put me in the store called the "manager killer," to push me out the door. ... I parted ways with them, and then I had no income. I had no way to get my meds.

So how do you make a living?

When I had my AIDS diagnosis, back 12 years ago, I had broken my hip. ... I was 125 pounds ... and my doctor told me I needed to go ahead and get on disability.

I had been a restaurant manager, a theater manager, and everything else. ... I love doing that. I love working with people. I guess that's what got me into (advocacy work).

So let's talk about your advocacy work. In Columbus, there's CV Pride, there's the Better Way Foundation, there's PFLAG. Please explain the difference between those gay rights organizations?

I'm not CV. We're COLGAY Pride. ... COLGAY Pride and The Better Way Foundation are all under one roof.

We do everything, just like United Way does a lot of stuff.

I started Better Way Foundation in 2007 to help people living with HIV and AIDS. Then recently, about two years ago, as numbers kept coming out that 78 percent of all HIV infections in this country belong to gay men, I said, "We're not doing enough. We're not getting the message out there."

So we created the COLGAY Pride Program, to build, empower, help them in any way that we possibly can to thrive and be better members of society, be advocates for their own cause, because that's one of the things we never saw.

PFLAG ... it was a great grassroots organization, but ... now that they're in the national spotlight, it's kind of lost sight of the home thing ... so we changed it all under our COLGAY Pride. It's COLGAY Pride Friends and Family now.

So PFLAG doesn't exist anymore?

That's right.

How large is the gay community in Columbus?

That's a number I really can't even tell you. ... I would probably say (it's about) 15 percent that are out.

How are we doing with the fight against AIDS locally? And what are the current statistics?

From 2011, it was 101 infections, and only 29 of those were stage 3, which is full-blown AIDS. (In) 2012, it went from 101 down to 70-something, 74 or something like that.

The thing that really alarmed me was 48 of them were stage 3. We're doing great on lowering HIV infections, but we're still not doing enough getting (people) tested in time.

Why is that?

Families make it hard to disclose. ...

What impact has your organizations had on the community?

Well, we started lowering HIV infection rates here, for one, even though the AIDS diagnoses are going up. ...

I think the acceptance level has grown here in the community. ...

We've helped change people's perceptions. ... For years, this city did nothing but a drag show for a pride event. If that's all you're going to do, then that's all you're going to be seen as. ...

My brother still jokes with me every now and then about high heels or something. I've never cared to do drag, that's not me. If they do, that's great. We had to make sure that we showed real people. ... I think we've done that, I really do.

Any other victories?

Our leader, Mayor Teresa Tomlinson, when she asked me to be the LGBT liaison here in Columbus, I was like, "Well, that's a great thing," because our HRC index was so low.

It was a 21. We've helped bump that up to 41. We've still got a lot of work to do, but that's an improvement right here in Columbus, Ga. Of course, marriage equality, that's a big improvement, but we're still not there yet.

What does HRC stand for?

Human Rights Campaign. They do a score based upon the criteria of the city -- what they offer as far as job opportunities, what have you, addressing the issues and so forth. It's all on a scale. ...

(The mayor) realized when she created the Community Unity Diversity and Prosperity Committee that we needed to have this voice at the table too, which helped us as well. Us doing things like a simple proclamation making it LGBT Pride Month, which we started two months ago. ...

We never had one of those, and she got a lot of bashing for that. ... I tremendously, in every possible way, thank her so much for her courage in that. She didn't have to do it.

It was recently reported that CV Pride had some problems with funding. How is your organization doing financially?

I don't even worry about funding really anymore. We try not to ask for money, because it becomes such a burden on people. This is exactly what CV Pride had to face. ... We don't have to worry about rent. We have office space provided for us now, because we work together.

OK, let's talk about your campaign against state Sen. Josh McKoon's religious liberty bill. What was your concern and why were you against it?

Exactly what we're seeing in Kentucky today (with Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis), exactly what we're seeing in other areas where people are trying to pick and choose the laws they want to follow based upon their religion.

It goes to judges, and everybody else. They're all shouting out, "We've got religious liberties, and I shouldn't have to marry this person, I shouldn't have to do this for this person, I shouldn't have to bake a cake for this person." ... All that is to me is an excuse to discriminate.

What about the Supreme Court's ruling legalizing gay marriage? Did you ever think that you would live to see a day when gay people could marry legally in this country?

Before this year, no.

What's your reaction?

Honestly, and I know there's a lot of people that disagree with me on this, I really would have liked to have seen it put to a vote by the American people, just like Ireland did -- because of exactly what we're facing today, the backlash from it. "Oh, the Supreme Court made that decision for you, because nowhere in the constitution is it talked about, the definition of marriage." That's what they were talking about.

Do you think it would pass if the public voted?

If they got out and voted, yes. ... You'd have to do it in a presidential election year, because I was watching Bill Clinton last night and he said, spot on, "People do not vote during the other elections."

Have you seen a backlash here in Columbus since the ruling?

No. Actually, people are very accommodating. Our mayor, on Day 1 ... she issued her statement and everything else. And Marc D'Antonio, he did a ceremony over there. I was very happy to see that come forward, and not resistance. ...

What about your personal situation -- are you married, or will you be getting married now that this is legal?

I've been with my partner for one year. We've known each other for 10 years. I'm not going to just jump out and go get married. I hope I can stress that to many people out there. ... Make sure this is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. It isn't like the old days where you could just say, "Oh, I'm tired of you. I'm gone, bye." ... We want our divorce rate to be lower. We want to make sure that our people stay together. That's for anybody, straight or gay -- make sure this person is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Tell me about your efforts to make local schools more welcoming to the LGBT community.

That's a tough one, right there. Columbus is a pit bull when it comes to the "Welcoming Schools" initiative. ... People need to understand this program is not about shoving gayness down your kids throats, or teaching them it's OK to be gay. It is teaching them tolerance for one another. It is teaching them what this person is -- if this person wears pink, or Sally wears blue, whatever the reasons are, we're all different.

That's one of the main things that this program's about, is showing the diversity, but knowing how to respect that diversity and knowing how to better approach kids, and so forth.

(Superintendent David Lewis) seems like he cares... but he needs to follow through on some of the things that he said he was going to do. ... He's doing a good job as superintendent, don't get me wrong.

I'm just going to play devil's advocate here.

Sure.

We're talking about religion, and people's freedoms. The Christian religion traditionally has considered homosexuality a sin and people can point to verses in the Bible that support that. What is your response to that?

That's great. I go by the teachings of Jesus Christ. Not once did Jesus ever say a word about it. ... Because I'm a realist, I look at the Bible for what it is. It is a man-made book, some wonderful stories that were passed down. Most of them, the story was told and then 100 years later the story was written. We all know if we get all the people around (a) table, we say one thing and pass it around, by the time it gets back to you it's changed. It's the same way with the Bible.

... I ask those same people that want to quote those verses to me, "Do you have tattoos? Do you eat bacon with your eggs? Do you wear clothes with two different kinds of linens? Do you eat lobster, or crab meat, or any of those things? Then I guess you're a sinner too.

You have run twice for City Council unsuccessfully, right?

... Both times against Red McDaniel.

Do you still have political aspirations?

I do... (but) I don't want to be restricted. I want to be able to get out there and say what needs to be said without having to worry about offending this person, or offending this donor. ... I don't have to worry about that right now.

Bio

Name: Jeremy Hobbs

Age: 41

Hometown: Columbus

Current residence: Columbus

Position: Volunteers as director of Colgay Pride and LGBT Liaison for Mayor Teresa Tomlinson’s Office.

Previous employment: General manager at United Artist theaters in Atlanta; manager at Carmike Theaters, Crystal River Seafood, Denny’s and Taco Bell in Columbus.

Education: Attended Calvary Christian School, Richards Middle School and Jordan High School, then graduated from Columbus High School in 1993.

Family: Father, Allen, stepmother Joyce, brother, Keith, and a nephew.

This story was originally published October 18, 2015 at 12:11 AM with the headline "Sunday Interview with Jeremy Hobbs: 'We've helped change people's perceptions' ."