Experts talk internet safety for kids

Jesse Weinberger says the Internet can be a dangerous place and parents are responsible for their children's online safety.

Randy Robertson agrees. He says when it comes to the Internet, mothers and fathers must be parents, not friends, to their children.

Weinberger is an Internet safety expert who speaks to groups across the nation and has a new book out titled "The Boogeyman Exists: And He's in Your Child's Back Pocket." It is a complete guide for parents on how to keep children safe in a 24/7 digital society.

Robertson is a consultant here with National Security Associates and recently retired from the Muscogee County Sheriff's Office after 30 years of service.

Courtesy of the Pastoral Institute, Weinberger is in Columbus this week.

Today and Wednesday, she will be presenting a workshop to students at Aaron Cohn Middle School and St. Luke School.

She will give a free workshop for parents at the RiverCenter for the Performing Arts from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. tonight.

She will discuss the challenges children face in the digital world and will provide proven strategies and techniques that will help parents.

On Tuesday, she will be the keynote speaker for the Right from the Start annual luncheon at St. Luke United Methodist Church Ministry Center.

For information, visit www.pastoralinstitute.org.

In a telephone interview last week, Weinberger said the average teen comes in contact with 11 hours of electronic media every day and parents should discuss online risks online with children as young as 8.

She said parents should set rules for Internet access and keep track of what their children are viewing on computers and on their phones.

"Parents can't give their child a smartphone and just pay the bill," she said.

She is firm in her belief that children younger than 14 should not have a smartphone.

"They are not mature enough," she said. "The part of their brains that reins in impulsive behaviors is not fully developed, but the part that desires pleasure is running on all cylinders. The brain wants pleasure, and there is no self-control."

Robertson agrees and said children under 14 should have a telephone only for emergencies.

He also does not believe children need a phone in school. "If something goes wrong, teachers know how to make contact," Robertson said.

Robertson said there are thousands of sexual predators seeking to take advantage of children, and predators find it easy to find a victim.

"Criminals walk the streets. Criminals surf the worldwide web," he said. "It is a world where everybody knows everything. Once you are part of the Internet, there are no secrets. It is amazing how much information there is out there. I run into people and they are amazed how much I know about them. People think much of what they put online is private, but the Internet is not a vault with one door. There are a lot of back doors. Put a photo online and somebody you don't expect to see it will."

Robertson said predators watch what young people put on Facebook and Twitter and know what their needs are. They know which kids they might approach and be able to fill an emotional void.

Weinberger said every child must know that what is put online stays online forever, and college recruiters and possible employers may see any photos or information posted.

Neither Weinberger nor Robertson was surprised by the sexting scandal in a Canon City, Colo., high school where more than 100 students exchanged nude photos of themselves on their phones. Some of the photos were of middle school students. as well.

"So much of the content in the media is sexually charged," Weinberger said. "When celebrities take selfies of themselves nude, when Miley Cyrus shows up to an awards show in her underwear, kids begin to think it is normal for them to take pictures of themselves with their butt cheeks hanging out,"

She said she has talked to kids 11 years old who are porn addicts.

She said that students measure their social status by the number of Facebook friends and Twitter followers they have. They also know they can recruit new friends and followers by posting suggestive photos of themselves.

"So many teen girls post photos and most of them show cleavage or have girls pursing their lips like they are preparing for a kiss," Robertson said.

Both Weinberger and Robertson said children will hide such activities from their parents and will lie about it.

Weinberger said YouTube is a big issue and that children find a lot of inappropriate material there.

"It's a big thing to get on YouTube. Everybody wants to be a star," Robertson said.

Robertson emphasized that anyone sending a photo of nude children could be hit with a child pornography charge.

One piece of advice Weinberger gave was the only friends they should have on Facebook are real friends and that privacy settings should be used.

Robertson said smartphones are just mini computers, and Weinberger said parents should not hesitate to check the history on any computer their child is using.

"You should know what is going on in your child's life," she said.

This story was originally published November 15, 2015 at 10:20 PM with the headline "Experts talk internet safety for kids ."