Chris Johnson

Chris Johnson

Glad I saw music greats before they left us

I wish I could have seen John Lennon perform. I also wish I could have seen Jim Morrison when he was sober enough to put on a decent show. If I had a hot tub time machine, I’d go see Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, Robert Johnson, Billie Holiday, Hank Williams, The Andrews Sisters and maybe even catch Mozart in action.

Chris Johnson

Sun shines on a new era of farming

Where I come from, farming is a way of life for an awful lot of folks. Even for the folks who don’t farm, their lives are set against a backdrop of fields of corn, peanuts, soybeans and hay, along with orchards of peaches and pecans.

Chris Johnson

Why do those who have so much give so little?

In the election cycle, we’ve heard a lot about the top 1 percent of Americans having more money than the bottom 90 percent in the United States. In fact, one candidate keeps telling us that the top 0.1 percent gets more new income than the bottom 90 percent.

Chris Johnson

Today is a good day for some Bible verses

Recently, after ISIS got through blowing up some more historical sites in Syria, some ancient texts were discovered, and one of the texts was nearly 1,900 years old. It claimed to be a lost Gospel by someone named Earl. And I believe this must be true because — just like Donald Trump says — I, too, get all my news from the internet.

News Columns & Blogs

Chris Johnson: Why don't we like things that actually work?

Americans like to pontificate, argue, debate, predict, prognosticate, worry and whine about problems, but they're not very good at addressing or solving them. I think one reason for that -- besides the fact that most Americans have the intellectual capacity of a long-toed salamander -- is that we believe things that work are just a little too crazy to try.

Chris Johnson

Chris Johnson: Highlights for the year in preview

As my Uncle Nostradamus Joe used to say, "The ability to peek into the future is an awesome responsibility, but it's not as awesome as peeking into the girls' locker room." As a clairvoyant, I've always been surprised that Uncle NJ never saw those peeping tom charges coming his way.

Chris Johnson

Chris Johnson: Let's make the North Pole great again

Thank you! Thank you all for that wonderful reception! Is this a great campaign rally or what? You wonderful folks are obviously ready for a change. And I'm telling you that I, Ronald Krump, am going to give you that change. We're are gonna kick that moron Kris Kringle off his velvety red throne. There is going to be a new Santa Claus in town, and Ronald Krump is gonna be the best Santa there's ever been.

Videos

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Author dispels marriage myths during Right from the Start luncheon at St. Luke 01:29

Author dispels marriage myths during Right from the Start luncheon at St. Luke

Mayo Clinic: Is your refrigerator-freezer healthy? 01:10

Mayo Clinic: Is your refrigerator-freezer healthy?

Pit builder William Chaney describes what makes a good barbecue pit 00:57

Pit builder William Chaney describes what makes a good barbecue pit

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Mayo Clinic: Is your refrigerator-freezer healthy?

The temperature, how you arrange the food, and how often you clean the inside of your refrigerator and freezer can affect your health. Jeff Olsen speaks with a registered dietitian from the Mayo Clinic Healthy Living Program about a plan for a healthy refrigerator-freezer.
Credit: The Mayo Clinic
Mayo Clinic: Is your refrigerator-freezer healthy? 01:10

Mayo Clinic: Is your refrigerator-freezer healthy?

Pit builder William Chaney describes what makes a good barbecue pit 00:57

Pit builder William Chaney describes what makes a good barbecue pit

Author dispels marriage myths during Right from the Start luncheon at St. Luke 01:29

Author dispels marriage myths during Right from the Start luncheon at St. Luke

Sights & sounds of a Cuban tobacco harvest 01:04

Sights & sounds of a Cuban tobacco harvest