Chris Johnson Blog | Ledger-Enquirer.com & Columbus Ledger-Enquirer

Chris Johnson

While cigarettes are no longer allowed at hotels, something else is now welcome

When I was a kid, there was no such thing as booking a hotel room online. On our family vacations to Florida, that meant riding around looking for vacancy signs at hotels and motels with names like the Sea Foam Motel and the Dead Squid Smell Inn. Fortunately, the Dead Squid Smell Inn didn’t smell anything like dead squid because back then all hotel rooms smelled like cigarettes.

Chris Johnson

After a tragedy, when is the right time to talk about the issues?

One of the things I learned in the wake of the horrible shootings in Las Vegas is that passing stricter gun regulations won’t stop bad folks from killing others. I’ve heard it over and over. Indeed, a law will not prevent a bad guy from doing bad things with a gun.

Chris Johnson

Column: A GPS-enabled smartwatch would not have been good back in the 80s

There were some technological advances that made during my childhood days a little easier to bear.

Chris Johnson

If Trump is gonna tweet, he should double-down on the musical references

Count me among those who thought Donald Trump might lighten up on the tweeting once he got to the White House. Also count me among those who thought wrong.

Chris Johnson

Clowns should only be scary if they’re trying to kill you

I don’t fear clowns, so I don’t really understand how somebody can suffer from coulrophobia, but apparently people do. When I tell someone I have no fear of clowns, they’ll respond with something like, “Well, you would if one were trying to kill you!”

Chris Johnson

This part of Georgia is not supposed to be tropical

It's Sunday night, and I just got back from the grocery store where folks are stocking up on all the necessities — namely vienna sausages and beer. In fact, they were clean out of vienna sausages, so for dinner tonight I might be having beer with my beer.

Auburn linebacker Tre' Williams, center, puts his finger up after a quarterback sac in the second half of an NCAA college football game against Georgia Southern, Saturday, Sept. 2, 2017, in Auburn, Ala. Auburn won 41-7.

Chris Johnson

I have to watch football ... I can’t get up

At my ripe old age of 47, three-week stretches like this leave me unable to undertake such athletic endeavors as bending over to pick up a pen off the floor.

Chris Johnson

All North Korea ever needed was a little ‘Margaritaville’

I’ve never sought to become a world traveler. Quite frankly, my backyard is one of my favorite travel destinations. It doesn’t take me very long to get there, and I’ve got a nice view of the wooded land behind me. Best of all, it’s extremely cheap. Sometimes my wife even cuts me a deal and only charges me $5 to visit.

Chris Johnson

Here are a few things upon which we can all agree

From Colin Kaepernick to Robert E. Lee to Donald Trump to political correctness to assault weapons to Mary Ann or Ginger, there seems to be no end to all the arguing in America these days. And this country has more than its fair share of things worth arguing about.

Chris Johnson

New economic theory proposed by a supposed cheapskate

When you think about people likely to come up with a revolutionary new economic theory, I might not be the first person who comes to mind. After all, my experience in economics is generally confined to decided which numbers sound lucky for the lottery. A lot of folks might even think statements like “I’m feeling good about 22 today” falls somewhat short of economic brilliance.

Chris Johnson

Need a lift in your small town? Give Guber a holler

Taxi companies are not very thrilled with the emergence of services like Uber and Lyft, which provide an easy way for folks who need ride from the airport, a safe transport home from the bar or a way to avoid the hassle of driving around a big city, particularly one they might not be familiar with.

Chris Johnson

Differences are black and white at the end of the road

I would like to generalize for a moment about one of the major differences between white folks and black folks.

Chris Johnson

I watched a movie in the theater and actually didn’t regret it

If I had a nickel for every time somebody said of a film, “Well, if the critics hate it, that means I’ll like it,” I’d have at least $27.65.

Chris Johnson

The privileged need their own space — preferably away from me

I’ve gotten to the point in my life where staying home is usually more appealing than traveling.

Chris Johnson

There’s just something about the feel of a book in your hand

I’ve never been a fan of anniversary stories, particularly when they are the 7th, 23rd or 36th anniversary of some event. I mean, geez, every day is the anniversary of an awful lot of stuff. However, I can sometimes tolerate looking back 10, 20 and 50 years later.

Chris Johnson

A little learning between the bottle rockets and firecrackers

Happy Independence Day! Or Happy Fourth of July! Or Happy Sidewalk Egg Frying Day! Yes, that’s an actual thing! Whatever makes you happy! Like exclamation points!

Chris Johnson

Who decides what is cussin’ and what is acceptable language?

I have mixed feelings about cussin’. Some of you might know it better as cursing, swearing or using foul language, but down South we refer to it as cussin’ — if you do it right, anyway.

Chris Johnson

At what point does enough become too much?

I’d like to wish me a happy birthday today. Yeah, it’s a little narcissistic to wish yourself happy birthday, but narcissism today is as American as baseball, apple pie and unaffordable health care. Besides, it’s not every day you turn 25.

Chris Johnson

Summer’s not officially here, but it’s bugging me already

Over the years I’ve heard an awful lot of folks — usually women — complain about baseball players, football players and curling stars always adjusting their, um, personal equipment and scratching in places you just shouldn’t scratch in public or in front of 80,000 fans or 23 million watching on television.

Chris Johnson

Driverless cars can’t get here soon enough

I'm still extremely wary of driverless cars. I don't want my Toyota deciding to slam on brakes if a rabbit runs in front of the truck. There are just some decisions that require a little bit of human reasoning. Although, when you look around at the world today, cars might not just be smarter drivers — they could probably do a better job of governing the world.

Videos

School raises money for United Way with "fun-raiser"

Oct 17, 2017

Columbus Technical College hosted Tuesday afternoon a ‘fun-raiser’ in front of the Wright Health Sciences Center to raise money for United Way of the Chattahoochee Valley. The event featured a karaoke contest with a top prize of $100, games, a $4 combo meal attendees could purchase, ice cream and even an old fashioned cake walk. Pictured here is one of the cakes up for grabs in the cake walk. Proceeds from all the activities go to the school's contribution to the United Way of the Chattahoochee Valley.

Mike Haskey The Ledger-Enquirer