I wish I could have seen John Lennon perform. I also wish I could have seen Jim Morrison when he was sober enough to put on a decent show. If I had a hot tub time machine, I’d go see Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, Robert Johnson, Billie Holiday, Hank Williams, The Andrews Sisters and maybe even catch Mozart in action.
Where I come from, farming is a way of life for an awful lot of folks. Even for the folks who don’t farm, their lives are set against a backdrop of fields of corn, peanuts, soybeans and hay, along with orchards of peaches and pecans.
In the election cycle, we’ve heard a lot about the top 1 percent of Americans having more money than the bottom 90 percent in the United States. In fact, one candidate keeps telling us that the top 0.1 percent gets more new income than the bottom 90 percent.
Recently, after ISIS got through blowing up some more historical sites in Syria, some ancient texts were discovered, and one of the texts was nearly 1,900 years old. It claimed to be a lost Gospel by someone named Earl. And I believe this must be true because — just like Donald Trump says — I, too, get all my news from the internet.
The statistics are clear — kids who live in poverty, especially abject poverty, are more likely to struggle in school, to have health problems and all sorts of other issues we'd rather they not experience.
My wife got her cat — note that's HER cat, not OUR cat — about eight years ago. Since then, Princess Sadie has lived her life almost exclusively within the confines of our home with the exception of special trips to the veterinarian.
Americans like to pontificate, argue, debate, predict, prognosticate, worry and whine about problems, but they're not very good at addressing or solving them. I think one reason for that -- besides the fact that most Americans have the intellectual capacity of a long-toed salamander -- is that we believe things that work are just a little too crazy to try.
Howdy, everybody, and thanks for coming to this here town hall. Now, I ain't no Democrat or a Republican -- I kinda like to think for myself. I reckon I'm what y'all might call an independent. But I do think the politics in these here United States could use a right good dose of small-town common sense and some Mayberry decency.
One of the things that really bugged me as a child was when some old person -- you know, like over 30 -- would reminisce about the good ol' days and then gripe about how spoiled we kids were in the 1970s and 1980s.
Unless your name is Donald Trump, the very thought of a billion dollars is a difficult thing to wrap your hair, er, I mean your head around. I mean, geez, do you realize how many senators you could buy with a billion dollars?
The holidays are over, and we're all getting back into our normal routines of drinking excessive amounts of coffee so that we can function at our jobs just enough to earn the money it will take to buy Christmas gifts next year for all the family members we'll spend the next 11 months avoiding.
It's resolution time! We go through this every January -- setting resolutions that will make us better folks in the coming year. Popular New Year's resolutions include losing weight, quitting cigarettes and telling police where you hid the bodies.
As my Uncle Nostradamus Joe used to say, "The ability to peek into the future is an awesome responsibility, but it's not as awesome as peeking into the girls' locker room." As a clairvoyant, I've always been surprised that Uncle NJ never saw those peeping tom charges coming his way.
Thank you! Thank you all for that wonderful reception! Is this a great campaign rally or what? You wonderful folks are obviously ready for a change. And I'm telling you that I, Ronald Krump, am going to give you that change. We're are gonna kick that moron Kris Kringle off his velvety red throne. There is going to be a new Santa Claus in town, and Ronald Krump is gonna be the best Santa there's ever been.
The temperature, how you arrange the food, and how often you clean the inside of your refrigerator and freezer can affect your health. Jeff Olsen speaks with a registered dietitian from the Mayo Clinic Healthy Living Program about a plan for a healthy refrigerator-freezer.
Credit: The Mayo Clinic
Mayo Clinic: Is your refrigerator-freezer healthy?
Pit builder William Chaney describes what makes a good barbecue pit
Author dispels marriage myths during Right from the Start luncheon at St. Luke