Chris Johnson

Chris Johnson

Go get yourself some cheap sunglasses

This might shock those of you who know me, but I'm not the kind of guy who spends a lot of money on sunglasses — or clothes or restaurants or vehicles or golf courses or technology or tequila or the prescriptions the doctor thinks might keep me alive.

Chris Johnson

It's hard to out-conservative these Georgia boys

I've already cast my ballot this primary season in Georgia. I like early voting because, just as I said last week, I kinda like my elbow room. In fact, if it were up to me, we'd have a holiday where everyone could vote, an early voting period before that and a week before that when only I am allowed to vote.

Chris Johnson

And a child shall lead them — I hope

Are you worried about the growing national debt? Concerned about record high temperatures in the Arctic and melting sea ice? Are you a corporation tired of pandering politicians twisting your arm to make you provide special favors to their favored interests?

Chris Johnson

What would Iron Eyes Cody think today?

My work has occasionally taken me to some pretty poor areas of the world. One of the things I’ve noticed in third-world countries like Ghana and Nicaragua is that no matter how poor the people, they seem to be nicer, happier and more generous — on average — than most Americans I’ve encountered.

Chris Johnson

When you pull a Fred Sanford, go to the doctor

I really needed a weekend of doing absolutely nothing — no cleaning out the gutters, no painting anything, no building a 100-foot outdoor fireplace off the patio or any of that typical stuff. I also needed a column idea — I’ve been out of column ideas since roughly 1998, which should come as no surprise to anyone who reads this column once a decade.

Chris Johnson

Give your fellow humans plenty of elbow room

This flu season appears to be pretty bad, and it has set me to wondering whether or not I got a flu shot the last time I saw my doctor in the early fall. It’s possible. I recall some sort of pain, but it could simply be from when they told me what portion of the visit my health insurance covered.

Chris Johnson

Column: If this idea from Southwest Airlines takes flight, I’ll stay grounded

There was a time when the thought of getting on an airplane was exciting for me. After all, the closest I’d been to flying as a kid was when my neighbor jumped the railroad tracks in downtown Montezuma, Georgia, in his parents’ Ford LTD while blaring Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” from the 8-track deck. In his defense, they only had the one 8-track tape that came with the car purchase, and he’d just been dumped.

Chris Johnson

Column: The scariest thing to be this Halloween

I’ve struggled to find the perfect costume this Halloween. Sure, I could dig out my Fashion-Challenged Middle-Aged Boring Guy costume, but I’ve worn it for like five straight years now. In fact, I’ve been wearing it for about 1,742 consecutive days, which may be why I’m getting tired of it.

Eagle scout wins national award for playground for kids with disabilities

Nathan Fain, 16, of LaGrange, Ga., built a handicapped-accessible playground for local children, and was awarded scouting's 2018 Glen A. and Melinda W. Adams National Eagle Scout Service Project of the Year from more than 50,000 projects nationwide