Count me among those who thought Donald Trump might lighten up on the tweeting once he got to the White House. Also count me among those who thought wrong.
While some might think it a little beneath the office of the president to issue whiny tweets on a daily basis, he’s doubling down on his Twitter usage. He even thinks it’s a wise way to deal with the lunatic dictator of North Korea — much like someone might think the best way to handle a rattlesnake that slithers into your garage is to poke at it with a stick while insulting it. “Fake snake! You’re just a stupid little earthworm! Sad!”
Twitter is Trump’s crutch. We all have crutches, even presidents. For President Barack Obama it was counting. No matter what he was announcing or to whom he was speaking, Obama broke it down one, two, three. Now, he’s retired, so his counting sounds a little different:
“One, I would like a chocolate frozen yogurt. Two, put it in a waffle cone. Three, I need sprinkles — chocolate or the multi-colored.”
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Recently, Trump has taken to calling North Korea’s Kim Jong-Un “Rocket Man,” the title of one of Sir Elton John’s most recognized songs of the 1970s — and it doesn’t get more hardcore and tough than Elton John. I guess as long he doesn’t tweet that “Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting,” we’ve still got hope of avoiding nuclear war.
I say if the president is gonna tweet, he should double-down on the musical references. It’ll make it more interesting, if still kind of 14-year-old girlish. To help him get started, I’ve provided Mr. Trump with a handful of music-referencing tweets to use for addressing some of his favorite topics. It should get him through at least a couple of his early-morning bathroom tweet storms:
▪ @HillaryClinton, As Toto — the band, not Dorothy’s loser dog — said, as soon as forever is through, I’ll be over you.
▪ To followers of @realDonaldTrump, never fear, I’m all about dat base, bout dat base, no liberals.
▪ @BarackObama, Still got Toto on my mind and I still think you were born down in Africa. Gonna take some time to undo the things you did that I think were bad.
▪ @JamesComey, don’t tug on Superman’s cape, don’t spit into the wind, don’t pull the mask of the ol’ Lone Ranger, and don’t mess around with Jim. Believe me.
▪ Forgot those glasses, now I’m blinded by the light. Wrapped up like a … wait, what? #Eclipse2017
▪ @foxandfriends, You mean the world to me and I know I’ve found in you … my endless love.
▪ @USSenate, Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
▪ I agree with Tom Petty: Don’t come around here no more. #Immigration
▪ @JohnMcCain Did you ever know that you’re no hero? People who get captured are not the wind beneath my wings.
▪ @VladimirPutin, If you wanted the moon I would try to make a start, but I would rather you let me give my heart “To Sir, With Love.”
▪ @Twitter, I’m addicted to you, don’t you know that you’re toxic?
▪ @VietnamVets And I’d proudly stand up next to you and defend her still today, God bless the bone spurs in my heels.
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