My first thought when WikiLeaks began spilling secret documents and communications was, “so what?”
But upon closer inspection, it’s obvious that what WikiLeaks seeks is not to hold governments and officials accountable, but to stir up unnecessary conflict by using facts without context.
I’m all for the public’s right to know. And if WikiLeaks had uncovered a plot by the United States to wipe Greenland off the face of the Earth, well, by all means tell the world. After all, it could be years before we all noticed Greenland was gone.
But what WikiLeaks does by exposing every questionable means to a noble end is as dangerous as what left-leaning MSNBC and right-leaning Fox News have done in taking the propaganda age to new depths with all their half-truths that get swallowed whole.
Somewhere between WikiLeaks and MSNBC/Fox lies the voice of reason. Its cry has been a lonely one for a few years now.
Also somewhere in between lies good ol’ Possum Holler, my hometown. What’s that got to do with anything? Well, Possum Holler has been struck by something far worse than WikiLeaks. It’s IckyLeaks.
And, no, IckyLeaks does not refer to the 1988 cherry bomb incident in the second-floor boys bathroom at Possum Holler High School. Still feel bad about those kids in Mr. Jones’ first-floor chemistry class below the restroom.
IckyLeaks is a website run by a mysterious Possum Holler resident known only as the Shadder. He’s like a super-genius or something. He got on the information superhighway with a Hemi-powered Commodore 64.
Anyway, the Shadder convinced a rogue Cub Scout to steal secret documents (conveniently placed in a folder labeled “Secret Stuff”) from the back office of the most secure location in Possum Holler, Booger Bottom Country Club and Pool Hall.
Some things we just don’t need to know, Mr. Shadder.
Such as that married Gladys Turnipseed sent pictures of her bare nekkid feet to Brett Favre. Or that Mary Jane Jolley’s big bosoms aren’t really a result of record late-arriving puberty at age 35 (with the help of Campfire Girls’ cookie money). Or that Chris Johnson was the plumbing terrorist behind the 1988 cherry-bombing of the Possum Holler High boys room.
Some things, be it IckyLeaks or WikiLeaks, don’t need to see the light of day.
Chris Johnson, firstname.lastname@example.org or 706-320-4403