There’s the veil, and then there’s the hint-hint-nudgenudge-wink-wink veil.
You know, the one that identifies the bride not by white lace, but by the suggestively shaped tiny plastic accents it displays.
Perhaps with the inclusion of a not-so-quaintly painted phrase like “final fling before the ring.”
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Check the average single girl’s log of therapist calls and you’ll see we’re smack dab in the middle of wedding season.
The effect on our nightlife scene? An increase in parties within the party.
Most bachelors and their crews still celebrate by investing their $1 bills in an entrepreneurial young woman’s future.
However, bachelorettes and their friends generally opt for a more public celebration, inundating downtown with clusters of young women fresh off the heels of a zany game of wedding trivia.
Oh, and there’s a bride-to-be, too. But she’s probably in the corner texting her fiance. Or wondering if her designated driver will be able to fulfill her responsibilities after making out with that guy in the corner all night.
Sometimes, the bachelorette party isn’t about the bride at all. Just consider these personalities that often dominate the average final fling:
THE GIRL WHO THINKS THIS IS A BAD IDEA
Identifying characteristics: Notepad tallying the number of shots the bachelorette has taken, bitter comments about how her chick flick marathon idea was denied, a decision to interrupt cage dancing by yelling “holy matrimony.”
>b/THE GIRL WHO GETS MORE DRUNK THAN THE BRIDE
Identifying characteristics: A desperate need to forget her best friend will soon be entering the world of “King of Queens” reruns, panic under the impending threat of the chicken dance.
THE GIRL WITH THE BIG MOUTH
Identifying characteristics: Vocal chords overtaken by a strange desire to tell everyone, from taxi drivers to bartenders, that it’s her friend’s bachelorette party. As if the neon pink “Bachelorette” T-shirt wasn’t self-explanatory.
THE GIRL WHO LIKES DRAMA
Identifying characteristics: A decision to pull the bachelorette aside on the dance floor and “remind” her of her husband-to-be’s hot tub transgression last summer.
Despite their lighthearted nature, these parties represent a real concern among partiers: that a ring and one night of bad catered food and cheesy line dancing will mark your retirement from a social life.
Sometimes, the threat is valid.
Yet that doesn’t happen with a wedding alone. So take your final fling for its surface value — an excuse to party, and an unspoken hope that equally good times are ahead.
No matter which veil you’re wearing.
Contact Sonya Sorich at 706-571-8516 or firstname.lastname@example.org