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It’s time to shop for a Halloween costume

It’s time to reach a decision on the all-important question you’ve pondered for weeks.

Which is cooler: A scantily clad cop, or a bikini-wearing pirate?

With Halloween just about a week away, many adults across the Chattahoochee Valley have entered crunch time in their costume selection process.

They’re hitting local costume retailers — places like Night Moves, Party City and Spirit Halloween — in hopes of finding the perfect getup. The quest, however, is anything but a cakewalk. What began as an exercise in creativity quickly transforms into a vehicle for bitter rage and frustration.

Submitted for your approval, here are the five stages of choosing a Halloween costume:

Anticipation: “This will be the best Halloween ever. I’m finally going to wear something totally original.”

Dejection: “Wait, I’m not the only one dressing up as Michael Jackson this year? How can that be?”

Desperation: “Must. Not. Sleep. I’ll Google ‘adult Halloween costumes’ until I’m inspired to create something unique.”

Resignation: “Fine. I’m not dressing up. Halloween is stupid. I’ll go to your party — but I’m wearing jeans, a sweatshirt and a $2 pair of devil horns.”

Rejuvenation: “You have a wig I can borrow? Well, maybe I can pair it with a boa and some fishnets. Yeah, that sounds good. And just wait until you hear what I have in mind for next year.”

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