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Home run!

Football constantly reminds me that I can stare at a TV for hours on end and retain absolutely nothing.

I consider "uniforms" synonymous with "outfits." I've mistaken tackles for celebratory hugs.

Still, my affinity for the sport has grown tremendously in recent years, largely due to understanding of the word "tailgate."

Which is why I'm going all out to celebrate Saturday's rivalry between the University of Georgia Bulldogs and the University of Alabama Crimson Tide.

Fortunately, red — a color used by both teams — is going to be huge this fall, so you can safely justify buying a new outfit for game day. I recommend hitting up recently opened rue21 (5550 Whittlesey Blvd.).

From there, you should watch the game at Breakers (6220 Milgen Road). Doors open at 3 p.m. You'll expand your horizons by trying a new bar, not to mention specials like $1 draft beers and 25-cent wings.

Finally, end Saturday with a tailgate-themed bar crawl downtown. One cover gets you into lots of downtown hot spots, and you can count on drink specials like the "Bama Bomb" shots at Knockin' Boots.