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Sonya Sorich: Wear full drag, race tricycles, help charities

In women’s fashion, a petticoat is not a coat.

It’s a skirt designed to be worn underneath a skirt. Not exactly a slip, not exactly underwear and definitely not a coat.

My boyfriend still doesn’t get the distinction.

I’ll get cold, and almost without fail he’ll reply, “Do you need a petticoat?”

No, in fact, I don’t. But a hoodie would be nice.

You can’t expect every man to be well-versed in the dictionaries that dominate the female fashion world.

But I don’t oppose a brief immersion program designed to help men understand my closet’s complexities.

Exhibit A: Friday’s Downtown Drag-Race for Charity, in which participants will dress in drag and race tricycles in hopes of winning money for charities (Georgia Meth Project, Wounded Warrior Project, Boys & Girls Clubs of the Chattahoochee Valley).

The Columbus/Fort Benning Cruise-A-Matics, a local rugby club, teamed with downtown businesses to organize the event, which includes a beauty pageant as well as the races.

Each participant chooses which charity receives his/her registration fee. Participants will compete in the race for money raised by the Cruise-A-Matics and donated by sponsors.

The first place winner of the tricycle races will determine which charity receives 50 percent of that money. The second and third place winners will each get to award 20 percent to their charities. The winner of the beauty pageant will choose where the remaining 10 percent is directed.

“It’s new and it’s good and I hope it goes well,” said Jonathan Follmar, social co-chair for the Cruise-A-Matics.

Anyone wearing full drag can participate in the event. Maybe male racers will understand the fashion variables that often make me late for nightlife excursions.

Like how the most appealing dresses are generally designed for women with superhero arms, or those who are constantly accompanied by fitting room attendants. Please join me in cursing unreachable buttons and zippers.

I hear you’ll also be getting your makeup done Friday, so I hope you experience the oily goo that emerges when your foundation interacts with the humidity. I also hope you learn that most blush manufacturers are intent on making us look like circus clowns.

Finally, I can’t wait for you to master the art of impressing your fans without accidentally revealing assets that violate city ordinances.

Friday’s competition sounds fun. Any fashion lessons will take a back seat to the event’s admirable focus on altruism.

But if the night advances my petticoat awareness campaign, I certainly won’t complain.

Sonya Sorich, reporter, can be reached at ssorich@ledger-enquirer.com or 706-571-8516.

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